Uncategorized

With Her Words

old house porch swing

Sitting on the porch, in the warm humid air.

She sat down beside me, with a cold glass and a sprig of mint.

Then she whispered low into the soft wind.

She spoke of love and loss.

She spoke of living and death.

She spoke of daddy, and remembered her old granny.

She mused about old romances and her mind’s flight of fancies.

She muttered of times long since gone, while sipping her tea until she was full.

She patted my knee before smiling at me.

Then said one last thing as a tear stained her cheek.

Follow your heart my sweet, and don’t let your hurt run your feet.

Cry hard if you must, but always learn again how to trust.

Open your heart to the needy, but beware of the greedy.

Cling to the ones you love, until they leave and go up above.

Your heart will break apart, and then one day, you’ll know how to mend what’s broken I pray.

Hang on to every special moment, while pushing aside the ones that aren’t.

Above all else my child, always remember to smile.

Sadness only grows like the wind in the hurricanes and tornadoes.

But when the rain ceases, pick yourself up and clean up your messes.

For if you do this I know, that you’ll be strong and you’ll learn to always grow.

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romance, Uncategorized

Sweet Little Musings March 2019

sweet little musings cover art wordpress

her heart was breaking

shards & pieces of it shattering

as the love was dissipating

her soul seemed to be fading

she would give everything up

just to end this suffering

if only she could take a chance

& try again for true love’s romance


the silence was broken

with all those words never spoken

but it took just one kiss

for their hearts to realize all they missed


the fog of night

held her sight

the path she didn’t know

was filled with many holes

her steps were light

she slowly trudged

thru her plight

until eventually

the sun came out

& dissolved her doubt


she had a plan

as most people do

she outlined her escape

from this hell she lived through

she struggled & prayed

hoping one day

she could leave this place

to find her own space

& then the day came

carrying boxes she left him

with tears streaming down

her new life began with a smile


our hearts are just poets

whether we write the words

or we don’t

we all live in dreams

even as reality laughs & screams

these memories we hold

in these timeless prose

our fantasies we share

out of this world ideas that we dare

either with pen & paper

or tapping on a keyboard


there once was a princess

who lived in a tower

so high in the sky

that no one could touch her

her heart went unloved

her soul was un-shown

she was frozen in a time

no one could ever know

she had no ladders

no doors to walk through

so she sat & cried

letting the pain loose


i once was had love

but now it’s turned to dust

i once smiled at the sun

but the rain drowned it

i once shivered in the cold

but my blood was still warm

i once had it all

but i realize it was all a show


she tested him

time & again

creating hurdles

no one could jump over

digging potholes

anyone would fall in

letting her mind

convince her

of what he wasn’t

until the day

she finally gave up


she was

naked underneath

but she held

her robe tightly

afraid to show her body

even to the man

who wanted her

her fingers clutched the fabric

tears began to swell

then run down

until she realized

he loved her

no matter her size


She knew her body

was not beautiful,

so she layered it

with tattoos

on her skin

to make it so.


No one knew

the origin of her pain

even her mind

claimed to abstain.


As I stood on the fringe

between reality & insanity,

a strong wind came through

to shove me across the boundary.


i hold on tight

to this speck of light

wishing hoping praying

with all my might

wondering if when or where

i might see that smile again

this just isn’t fair

life gave you to me

but then it took it away

leaving me to rot alone

in these hours of despair

you came & went

now my love is spent


your words have no meaning

when they are not said with feeling

your compliments don’t stick to me

because i know they are fake pity

your lies i will not believe

my mind is smarter than you think

your heart i will not treasure

because you only wanted your pleasure


there once was a love

that i dared to touch

a powerful mystery

i thought i could solve

try as i might

sacrificing all i was

it seemed to be imaginary

living only in my mind

it wasn’t a puzzle

no game & no fun

it was just another way

of breaking my own heart


mine is a jealous soul

never confident on my own

my mind is the devil’s playground

when left alone to wander around

i always suspected you’d make my heart frown

but still i persisted until i drowned


Never did i imagine

i’d lose my air

when your heart

left mine

in such despair


your love

demolished my heart

leaving me to plot

a lonely course

in the ruins of something

that was my fault

i carry the blame

upon my back

trudge in the guilty mud

that weighs me down

while regret seizes

what is left of my sight


I suspect

that I

have nothing left.

Just empty words

filled with regret.


through my life

i’ve collected many hearts

bits & pieces spent then tossed

happiness filled them up

before anger destroyed the love

leaving me to wonder

if i’d ever get enough


i fall asleep

with the memory

of your arms

around me

i awake

with the tears

that shake me

from my reverie

once i had your heart

& you held onto mine

but now there’s no spark

no warmth in my bed to find


i laugh, i cry

my eyes do not lie

torn to pieces

in the sun i do fry

in the valley of darkness

i do abide

awaiting the sunlight

& praying for a sign

the stars smile down

as the moonlight shines

death may not have me

i’m not ready to die

so instead i sit & wait

patiently for life


i don’t dream anymore

not since i made the mistake

of holding your love

i don’t breathe easily

since you went away

leaving me drowning with all this

i don’t see clearly

while the tears stream

down my face onto my sheets

i don’t hear you

since my heart u did steal

leaving me to heal


there is no master key

for this keyhole is locked you see

covered in cobwebs

& rusted thru its edges

this door has been closed

for many ages & years

sealed by tears pain & fears

knock if you must

no one will answer

bang if you will

this door will not yield


Friends

kindness

compassion

a place to weather the storms

when they roll in

love

respect

somewhere to lay

your heart & head

laughter

silliness

the ones who send you

all those funny GIFs

patience

purity

they don’t lie to you

they prove it

comfort

tears

they share your fears


there was no coin toss

this was not a

heads or tails choice

would this love be won

or would it be lost

for no one can tell the heart

who to love & who not

it makes its own choices

for our souls have but one shot


they proclaimed she had

a golden heart

but little did they know

she was not made of such things

just a shattered soul

the colors they saw

were just mere reflections

of the love she’d lost

over many decades


her words were revealing

her heart they proclaimed

she wrote of her soul & all its pain

day after day

line after sad line

knowing all these things

would heal her in time


there once was a keyhole

a window to her heart

until one day

she covered it up

she used some concrete

to block up that hole

no one would get in

she proclaimed to her soul

she’d had enough of the fools

liars & fakes

each one claiming They could get in

but she would Never let them


it was a huge mistake

i heard them say

it can’t be undone

i heard them whisper

all is lost

they screeched of this disaster

this will never go unpunished

as they wielded their power

she will pay for her crimes

as her soul they shattered


my mind was mistaken to trust you

my heart was forsaken by your love

my soul was shaken by your inaction

now my body quakes with loneliness

so never tell me

that i have to try love

again


let the water rain down

like my tears to the ground

wash away all this sadness

to gather upon the grass

showers may come

storms rage & fall

but let not your heart stall

for brighter days will be on the horizon

one day the sun will return

to bring our hearts home


I may bend

but I will not break.

The storms may come

but my life

they do not make.

The sun shall shine

the clouds will clear

I step forth from the rains

& I will persevere.

Walk into the sunlight

leaving darkness behind

today will be the day

for my soul to shine.


There was a grand scheme in place,

some way she could live in this space.

She would no longer fight this battle

just accept her fate as the thunder rattled.

The rains poured down like the tears of her frown

while the earth stood still & her heartbeat slowed.


She tried to run.

She tried to hide.

But in the end

she had no more pride.

Nothing left to do now

but pick herself up,

dust her heart off,

& continue pushing forward.


And her Saturday begun

with the sun

peaking out from the horizon.

As she walked alone

pondering her course.

the idea of a life,

of a time

with no more discord

soothed her heart.

A single tear fell

while the passing flowers

she did smell.


It started as a small seed,

full of promise,

but hidden in the weeds.

It fought for some sun,

reached down deep

into the ground for water,

it began to blossom.

It grew strong

& kept plotting a course

so it could rise up

to bloom larger than life.


I found a white hair

It made me think

I’m a brunette

It was what I was born to be

Not a redhead

no matter how many times

I dyed my hair for that HE

I’m not a blonde

although that HE begged me to be

I’m not a young girl

so I shan’t cover it up

Cause no matter what

I’m ME


i could break down & cry

lose every tear left in my eyes

but who would that help

only the pain i hold inside

cause it doesn’t help release

the fears that i dare to keep

so i’ll not cry for them now

i’ll just walk tall & stand proud


Soul Sisters

the missing pieces

of your heart

the long-lost connections

you never thought

you’d find

the other half of your brain

who understands the pain

that you could never name

giving comfort to the shame

sharing light thru the darkness

that remains


i built a frame

for the walls within

it had tall studs

& plenty of nails

i created a space

where i thought

i was safe

but just ended up

building my own prison

it kept all this pain

flowing in my veins

it never let in light

i just stewed in my plights

until i built

a way out


i slid the razor

over my skin

it stretched my flesh

until it began to bleed

i watched as my soul

started to flow

i prayed as i took

another chance & spoke

as tears gathered

spilling down my face

death will not have

at least not today


i followed a trail

through the dark woods

the sun never shined

into the trees

the moon didn’t cry

down upon me

but still i stepped forth

knowing i still breathe


it wasn’t magic

there was no fate

it wasn’t what was meant to be

& that is not up for debate

love just happens

we never know how or why

our hearts just accept it

without looking thru our eyes

we use it, we lose it

it comes & it goes

every once in a while

we just know


love gets lost

but never forgotten

broken hearts heal

even when gone unspoken

we live we breathe

& continue to push thru

remembering all the pain

makes us stronger within


with hungry hatred

of a heart that is undone

i decide to act

or continue to suffer

no amount of time

could ever sever

these deceitful shadows

the wheel that keeps turning

as morsels of the past

keeping weighing down my present

my heart is dressed with decorum

but my soul stays silent


the night screams

my silhouetted dreams

as the bloated glow

streams down on my soul

this illumination

definitive rumination

allows my heart to shine

with a glow that is sublime


it was the

eye of the beast

that lured me

to this dark place

where no words

are spoken

there lived

no love or devotion

just the whispers

of lust

the kind that

requires ultimate trust

the cave of fantasy

that stole my heart

& controlled

my humanity


I once heard a myth

of a love that could fit.

I once believed that

I could somehow find it.

I once had a chance

to make that love last.

But then I made a mess

that I just couldn’t clean up.


There was a plan in place

she knew with a smirk upon her face.

She had cultivated

its limits

while skirting its boundaries.

It was foolproof

she convinced herself,

as long as

everyone played their part.

It would be

the biggest score

if only it could

only fool her heart.


It was controlled chaos,

this fantasy I had built

in my mind.

It had no basis in reality

I would soon find.

It simply haunted my heart

& encompassed my soul.

It was nothing but

a passionate dream

that was never told.


there once was a rose

beautifully broken

with tattered edges

& a bland faded color

it grew with no sun

trying to push its roots

down into the poisoned soil

its thorns were so tough

it could slice any finger

but one day it gave up

& on the vine it withered


i’ve been your puppet

i’ve danced to your tune

i’ve twisted & turned my body

to fit in your boxed dream

i’ve given it my all

even more than i had to give

now i will gain my inner strength

dance with my own demons

& sing my own song


I could let

This ruin me

Play the victim

For the rest of time

Or

I could allow

It to strengthen me

And be the Queen

I know is within me


People come

In and out

Of your life

They change you

For the good

Or the bad

They can make you

Happy or sad

But don’t let

Anyone steal

your heart

Don’t let them

Tear you apart

Their actions aren’t

Yours

Neither are

Their demons

Own your own

Push forward


I didn’t know it

at the time

but it was just

self sabotage

I had ruined

all that was

just by not

admitting the cause

I had wasted

all my life

playing a victim

to my strife

I had lost

true love’s time

by struggling

with my own love

I wanted to

go back

but it was

too late


If I’d only known

it would be our

last kiss,

I think I would’ve

made it something

more special.

I would’ve held you tighter

for just a bit longer.

I would’ve inhaled your smell

even more in those seconds before.

I could’ve memorized your taste

left on your lips.


It’s not always you.

It’s not always me.

Sometimes

Life just won’t let it be.


our hearts are like a prism

complex & full of light

they can get damaged

but will Always heal up

there can be cracks

but they only make it more beautiful

don’t hide it behind a wall

for the whole world should know

it is unique

it is powerful

let it shine

forever more


her smooth skin

hid her ragged soul

what she held inside

only a few would know

her tears bled her pain away

her words clearly projecting them

while no one ever saw the change

as her anger began to melt then fade


we all have strength

we all have courage

we all can be

our Own Heros

But Who Needs A Hero

when we have our own minds

who needs a savior

when we alone can bridge the divide


my mind is a riddle

a game just for me

each move & choice

is for me to make

it is no open book

there are no cheat sheets

it is only in my hands

for me to make what i will

i give my choices to no one

cause they don’t live in my mind

i take this upon myself

cause it is my life


she tempted the world with her words

knocking down walls with her poems

swirling the clouds with her emotions

bringing showers with her tears

only to let the water wash away her fears

cleansing her mind with each syllable


she wanted a place

to rest her mind

she wanted a person

to give her heart to

she wanted a space

so she could just breathe

she wanted a soul

where she felt it was at #home


i wished for a love once

i wished to be

something i wasn’t

i wrote the words

i spoke so many prayers

i wished on all the stars

i gave it my all

only to fall in the potholes

but i picked myself up

with my friends help

although i’m dusty now

i smile instead of frown

& walk proud


we cannot continue

to magnify our cracks

we need to just

continue to heal them up


I have

no excuse

or alibi

for what

I’ve done,

just reasons

that don’t

make sense now.


I didn’t

lose myself

all of a sudden.

It happened

over a culmination

of years,

growing fears,

and with

walls closing in.


many doors closed

some i shut myself

running down empty halls

knocking on thick walls

i ran away from

what i’d become

while chasing what

i wasn’t

until i came two

an end i had in view

there was an open door

i was afraid two step through

but then i did

& all became new


i had this thirst

that i just couldn’t sate

when i realized

something was missing

i searched for it

high & low

traced every memory

that i knew

analyzed each action

picked apart all my prose

until one day i found it

hidden in my own soul


i used to smile for them

then i smiled for you

now i smile for me

cause my life is brand new


her sorrow consumed her

like a hurricane does to water

twisting & turning

until her soul was nothing

but un-containable hurt

it made her cry

it made her lie

all of it visible

in her eyes

she couldn’t hide from it

she couldn’t replace it

nothing left to do but to face it


the craving of the body

reflects the cravings of the heart

don’t let your mind confuse you

follow your soul’s desire to be true


I say sorry

to the one I couldn’t love

I say sorry

to the one who loved me

I say sorry

because I couldn’t see

I say sorry

because I had to leave

I say sorry

this is just me


that village

from her childhood

molded her memories

& concealed her heart

in a shame that would last

until one day

she broke out & was FREE

she made a new world

a new family of contemporaries

& pushed forward into a future

that held all she ever wanted


A person may

grow in a village,

but at some point,

they must make

their own place

where they can flourish.


temper is uncontrolled rage

but

patience is when a heart can wait


her will commands

her body still

her heart demands

to give in


her soul sings

through the violin strings

winds gather & blow

as her song fills the world


i’m always left in awe

when in your arms

as one heart

caresses another

means so much more

than any words

ever spoken


although we

may complement

each other’s sides

we should

never forget

we are complete

in a singular sense

those around us

should only increase

our meanings

not decrease

our values


bubble bubble

watch as they morph

glisten in the sun

float along the horizon

change colors

shrink & expand

full of hope & breaths

they’ll eventually

fall & break

but for now

we’ll watch them

do the magic they do


i sit in awe

watching as stars fall

wishing as i might

thinking of ways to take flight

but as my soul knows

my body may stay still

my mind refills


on the mountain top

as the clouds covered the world

a restless soul sat patiently

waiting

cause it knew

this storm would pass

the smile returns at last

& peace will reign again


it was a silent command

a wordless demand

two minds in sync

two bodies in the moment

caught in the bondage of kink

wrapped in timeless space

keeping up the pace

until their hearts

bloomed in this place


it was the conflict of her lifetime

finding all the mistakes

hidden in her memories

sinking in guilt & shame

breathing in strain everyday

accepting the past

all those things that wouldn’t last

searching for the sunrise

while lost in the midnight of her life


my heart was born dead

with all my goodness withered & scarred

justice does not bleed for me

but i shall not meditate on this

although i don’t know me anymore

i’ll press forward & settle this score

gathering my strength as tears stain my cheeks

this world will never see


Loneliness craves companionship.

Heartaches crave company.

Anger craves attention.

Hearts crave mending.


Will you stand beside me

when the world starts to crumble

Will you wipe away my tears

when the rains start pouring

Will you keep me warm

when the snow starts falling

Will you be my oxygen

when I can’t seem to breathe

Will you show me love

when I think I don’t deserve it


In the library

of emotions,

she was

the book that

was never opened.


i hid it in my pocket

where no one could see it

no one knew what i carried

i never displayed it anywhere

it was my own little secret

words that never got spoken

feelings that never were shown

an unrequited love never known

all of it kept for my own

a world i’d never show


It was an impossible task

trying to make love last.


One step forward Two steps back

was her approach

the way for her to attack

forever standing with fear at her back

always forced to march on

told not to remember sins of her past

but if they only knew

it was her scars that grew

with every word left unsaid

every tear on her bed


she was a pretty shell

every hair in place

with a smile that

could make you melt

eyes that would

cut thru any soul

lips that routinely

spoke of love

but

inside she was

an empty box

completely devoid

of any emotions

a heart that was

forever alone

& incapable of trust


as we march thru life

it is a slow approach

only to reach

the end of a long road


laying in a bed of clover

she knew what they didn’t

her story was over

no luck, no love

no serene ending

she was a lifeless soul

surrounded by the greenery


fighting a losing battle

scarred by the fire

enraged in the shadows

she is now

what never mattered


i fell through

to the black hole

filled with an emptiness

that engulfed my soul

a deep dark place

where love has no face

time ticks away

& fear always stays

where light disappears

no candles no flames

live here

just the sound of tears

falling thru this sphere


your love

swallowed me whole

now i’m

a heart

with no home


It was a

moment of loss

she realized

as his absence

left her soul cold.

It was like someone

had shut off the sun,

only to leave her freezing

in outer rims

of the Earth.

She was a

floating asteroid

in the space

of dark emotions.


My keystrokes

may be graceful,

but oh how

my heart is clumsy.

My words reveal my soul,

but don’t doubt

that you

won’t ever know me.

I’m barricaded for a purpose,

far beyond a human’s touch.

My mind sleeps alone because

that’s all my heart will allow.


i don’t belong here

in this space

with only my memories

i’m left to face

stuck in a rut

unable to get out

& i’m forced to be fake

no one hears my screams & shouts

but i’ll bide my time

& be sentenced w/this crime

they think me a fool

but one day

i’ll move on & be healed


Guilt

is a heavy burden

for a heart

left to worry

and a mind

that is determined.


gone in a flash

he had made a mad dash

too afraid it would last

so he scurried away

with the past

his heart she would have

but she knew he couldn’t last

so with no more words left

he let her heart go

leaving her with

nothing left to show


instead of a shower

it was a flood

a storm that carried

a great big ocean

it took years to build it

but seconds for it to fall

it wasn’t a tornado

but a hurricane after all


She was shy & clumsy,

falling into potholes that weren’t there.

But her heart was

as graceful as a ballerina,

doing pirouettes in the air.


the feeling of the belt

that caused the painful welt

left her desperate heart

needing to be felt


It was but a flash

a momentary lapse

that would encompass

all the wonders

that made a heart leap

at the sound of thunder.


Guilt sleeps with me

every night as I weep.

It terrorizes my dreams

making my chest heave.

I know I’m never alone

cause it has its place on my throne.


I belonged to you,

but you never

belonged to me.

While I was giving all I could,

you weren’t seeing me.

I tried & I cried,

begging & pleading,

but in the end

you weren’t all you seemed.

We parted with no words.

Now all that love

goes unheard.


He had promised

to weather her hurricane

He had told her

he would be there

He had convinced her

she was worth his time

But in the end

her storm was too strong

And it ripped their love

Apart


Pour me some whiskey

go ahead & drown me

let it be never ending

allow my mind to swim

& wash away this pain

let the liquor burn

& erase all this yearn

down the hatch you go

let it always flow


Once complete & happy

Full of love & so sappy

We were of one mind

Until such time

Our love was broken

Words & actions

That cannot be retracted

Have caused us to be

Split & unhappy

No longer one

But two in the same song

Our beats will live on

In a singular form


Beaten but not broken

These words we’ve spoken

Have ripped my heart open

Left to bleed your promises

Such time we’ve wasted

Along with all this haste

To reach a climax

That wasn’t meant to be made

Hush now don’t speak

Your words mean nothing

to me


There’s just Something

about you

The laughs, the smiles

The Way you make me

feel New

There’s just Something

in your Voice

Something that breaks

thru the Void

That makes me Believe

just maybe

this Something

was Meant to be

for in this Moment

i can Breathe


There was

only a thin wire

connecting us.

Just a small strand

being projected

around the earth.

It was just a tiny thing

& yet

it made my heart sing.

Until you cut the chord

leaving only memories

of our discourse.


I improvised a rhyme.

I set the rhythm & time.

Typed it out only to find

my words did not apply.

So I started again

working until the night’s end.

But still it wasn’t exactly

what I had wanted to give.

I then closed the machine

& just went to sleep.


we all have rhythm

we all have rhyme

we watch as the time

ticks & ticks by

some do not believe

some cannot conceive

but within our bodies

our hearts do beat

when you are lost

& your soul is covered in frost

take a moment to listen

& i know you’ll hear it


Anger is but a freight train

racing through your mind.

It chases the emotions

that build up with time.

It’ll run off its tracks

but only if you allow.

In the end, it’ll propel you

to a long awaited distant land.


My heart sits upon the shore

where the ocean meets the sand.

My feet touch the cool water

as the waves crash upon them.

As I look at the setting sun,

I remember what once was.

My memories are the shells

that get buried in these deep wells.


Nothing is perfect.

Not the sun.

Not the stars.

No one can be.

Even though we want to.

No love will ever be.

No moment is flawless.

We take what we make.

Yet we always will

yearn for more.

But in the end, remember this

nothing will be perfect

for our hearts.


lost in dreams

lost in memories

lost in fantasies

lost in your eyes

tell me why

i dare to fantasize

no help for it

they say

not until

the waves

begin to crash in

stay strong

they plead

wait, you’ll see

but when you

stand alone

it’s hard to hear

the sweet songs


My heart is a deep pit

filled with emotions that split

my soul into many slivers

with thoughts

that would make you shiver.

Be careful when you approach

because my wrath I will expose

if you are the least bit false.


Staring at you,

my eyes to yours

with just whispers

of the world

outside our door.

Nothing can touch us

not in here,

& not while

we are within

each other’s arms.

For just in those moments

there is only us.


Her flaws

were visible

to anyone

who wasn’t blind.

Her mistakes

were on display

just in the way

she carried herself.

Her scars

she held close

to her heart.

But her beauty

was what

lived inside.


And when

her heart

had turned

ice cold,

it was just

the whisper

of a new love

that brought

her soul

back to life.


When Winter Is Over

my heart will be older

the ice will melt

& love again will be felt

When Winter Is Over

the Spring will be

nothing but

the dawn of a new day

When Winter Is Over

my tears will abide

collecting to make oceans

to wash away with the tides

then arrive

at a new destination


You may not have broken her heart

BUT

You could be the one who

finds her when she’s lost


My heart

is too big.

My words

echo & ring.

My thoughts are

dark & menacing.

My love

is too consuming.

I feel too much.

I hurt too deep.

I sometimes

forget to speak.

No day with me

is the same.

I’m a million things.

If you don’t want

an adventure,

don’t bother

to come near.


Hold my hand

while we walk

thru the fires

of hell.

Smile when

I tell a joke

even though

you don’t

understand.

Come ride

with me

& I’ll make sure

you’ll never

forget this.


the one who got away,

is

the one who was never meant to stay


It was some whirlwind infatuation.

A lingering fantasy that would not end.

A wish built on a dream

that never seemed to be fulfilled.

Where one held the heart of another,

tenderly caressing it

before tossing it away forever.


i put away

the trinkets

that remind me of you

i block out

all the memories

of our last kiss

i set aside

the pictures & words

we both shared then

i lock away

the part of my heart

where you will stay

forever hidden in my tears


 

romance, Uncategorized

PATIENCE

PATIENCE COVER

Shout out to Alex Micati who suggested this topic through Twitter. Please give him a follow because he is totally worth it! @Alex_Micati

Google defines patience as a noun meaning: the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.

Another trusty true saying is: Patience is a Virtue, a quote attributed to the poem Piers Plowman believed to be written by William Langland in the 1300s.

Now that it’s been defined and matched with the appropriate cliché, the real question is how do we develop and show patience to those we care for? Why is it so important in any kind of relationship? What happens when we don’t practice that patience with people we care about? How and when should patience run out?

Our capacity for patience, I believe, lies in our ability to understand that not everything works on the same time table. For example, just as not every baby walks at the same age, not everyone talks and relates in the same way. If we are all truly unique individuals, then we can surmise that we would all develop and show different abilities at different moments in our lives and in our relationships. In considering that, it’s amazing any of us get along at all, much less have patience with one another. Patience, I believe, is a trait that must be learned and then practiced. Of course, when emotions run hot, patience can be quickly lost. But learning how to be patient, then practicing that patience with others is the true virtue that all of us humans need to develop and give back to others.

So, how do we develop patience? Well, you could consult the many self-help books and blogs, but if you want my opinion, it’s an art form that’s developed with age, experiences, and necessity.

We’ll start with age. For anyone who can remember being a child and far too excited to open gifts on a holiday or birthday, you can then remember how impatient you were. Or  for that teenager in you that just wanted to jump through time and have your driver’s license, drink liquor, or escape to college, you will remember wanting to rush through milestones in your life not thinking of how much you should treasure them because they already pass too quickly. Or even the person who was so eager to have sex, not realizing that maybe they weren’t ready for it. In one way or another, our age has determined our patience level.  Although some were, let’s say “born” with patience, most of us were not. I believe at some point in our teenage years, as we begin to plan for a long term future or goals, we then start to learn how to be patient. We realize that goals are not accomplished in merely one or two steps, but rather many steps that lead to what we actually want. If you want to become a doctor, there are certain parameters you must meet, if you do not, then you will not become a doctor. Let’s face it, no one just shows up one day and proclaims they are a doctor, cause you’ll get locked up for practicing medicine without a license. No one snaps their fingers only to have their dreams just magically appear. We have to work for toward and for those goals. If you want to be a patient person, then you must learn patience and practice it daily, hourly if need be.

Experiences have a part to play in making all of us who and what we end up being. They can shape you, or you can ignore them and never learn anything new. Experiences can teach you when you should practice patience, and when you should embrace spontaneity. As you get to know someone for better or worse, you can develop patience in dealing with them. Let’s take your coworkers, your boss(es), your family and even your children, with each person you have a threshold of ease or frustration when dealing with them.  All these people you have relationships with will at one point or another cause you stress therefore forcing you to have patience in one way or another. Your prior experiences with them will clue you in to what degree your patience will be tested. These experiences when you have either lost your patience or practiced a great deal of patience can teach you what your limits are and how to expand your understanding of how far you’ve come. A personal example is my current working situation. I have three bosses, each with their own opinions and ideas of how to run the business. In my eleven years there, I have learned unmeasurable patience in dealing with them but only through previous experiences. I’ve pushed too hard at times and received a bad outcome, but over the years I’ve learned when to push forward and when to have patience. Only experience has taught me that. Keep that in mind when dealing with an extremely unruly person in your life. Take a step back, see what works, and what doesn’t. You don’t seek to manipulate them, just work easier with them to reach a mutual goal and in the process you will gain loads of experience learning patience.

Finally, we come to necessity, the true mother of all inventions. Take a moment, if you would, and think on someone in your life you found it hard to deal with. Whether it is someone you work with, or someone who is a part of your family, think about how you had to deal with them. Think about how much they frustrated you, bringing you to the point of literally tearing your hair out. But no matter how much they made you crazy, you still had to deal with them…right? That’s a part of learning patience.  My own personal necessity for patience was and IS my autistic son. Of the many things he has taught me, patience has been the big one. Over the years, I’ve had to learn patience in dealing with his struggle to understand everyday things in life. I had to have patience to explain all the things that other people may understand with no explanation. I needed patience and the ability to figure out exactly what words to a get him to understand. Out of necessity I found ways to communicate so that he would understand. It was and still is a hard thing, but as time goes by, my patience grows and not just with him, but with everyone I encounter. Once again, I’ll remind you, we all develop differently and at different paces. So patience is just a tool that everyone needs in every relationship. It only helps you in life, in love, and in survival to develop it to its full potential.

So here is my personal advice and my go to source of learning how to be patient is to take a deep breath. Not kidding here. When something is frustrating you, take a deep breath. There’s more than one way to skin a cat…the cliché goes. And in that, I mean there is more than one way to convey, coexist, and converse with people. Where one person needs everything explained in detail, another may need only the shortened version. With patience you can accomplish speaking to both types of people as well as the whole range in the middle. Take a deep breath, figure out where your words or wires got crossed or misunderstood, and then restate in a calm manner. Try this with your friends, your partners, and your kids. The big key is to give your brain a moment with that deep breath. Allow yourself to stop, breathe in, breathe out the frustration or anger, and then re-approach the situation.  This will lower your anger level while also showing the person you are dealing with that you are truly making an effort to be patient. Over time, as you develop a stronger bond with these people, you will then learn how they need to be relayed information. Again, we all travel on different paths, walk and speak at different times and levels, and relate to one another in different steps. If you want to have a good relationship, patience will be a big part of that. So it only helps you and your partner/friend/child/family member to cultivate a way to interact with patience, kindness, and understanding. With age, and practice, you can be a more patient person and that will make your relationships better in the long run.

Showing patience with the people you love and care about show them you value and respect them. Think about the teacher in your life that spent those extra moments making sure you understood what was being taught. Think about that family member who sat with you when you were upset, comforting you, taking time to listen to you cry, or even helping you heal. These people did that because they care. They showed you patience, as well as kindness. They didn’t have to; they CHOSE to. Don’t you want to be that kind of person? If you honestly care about someone, why wouldn’t you have patience with them? Why wouldn’t you want to help them in whatever way you can? Sometimes the people we care about need our understanding, our kindness, and our patience. If you were lost in a maze and your partner/friend/family member was outside of the maze, wouldn’t you want them to wait for you? Wouldn’t you want them to be patient while you figure a way out? Sometimes, that’s all patience is, waiting. Waiting for them to catch up; waiting for them to understand; waiting for them to be strong. If you care, or if you love that person, you should always want to show patience. If they see you are making the effort to be patient, and they care as much about you as you do about them, they should be able or work towards reciprocating when you need their patience. It is truly a “you get what you give” scenario.

Patience is important. We are all unique, different individuals that mature and grow at different levels. What has been learned in one person can go unlearned for decades in another person. We are all on the same planet, but do not share all the same ideas, feelings, experiences, or thoughts. This is why being patient is so important. If you want to forge a bond, or develop a long lasting relationship with someone at some point you will have different viewpoints or even misunderstandings. Those are the times when patience will be the action that will make or break that bond. If you do not have patience with that person then the relationship will crumble or at the very least be crippled to the point that it will not grow. If you truly care, why wouldn’t you show a little patience? If you want to grow the relationship, why wouldn’t you stop and try to clear up the misunderstanding, or at the very least explain your point of view? Not every misunderstanding needs to become an argument; with patience you can insure that it doesn’t.  Practice patience with those you love and care about, and it will lead to a new level of understanding.

Ever had an argument only to realize the two people in the argument were expressing the same feelings or thoughts, just in different terms? It happens more than you’d like to think. In my life personally, I cannot count how many times I argued my view only to stop hours later and realize that they were saying the exact same thing as I was, just using different words. If I had practiced patience and understanding, there would not have been an argument that led to hurt feelings and anger, but rather a discussion of two view points and how they would merge together. Without communication, there can be no relationship. So without patience and understanding how can you build and strengthen a relationship? You can’t. Full stop. You can’t. If you are unable or unwilling to be patient enough to listen, then what are you doing in that relationship? What are you goals if they are not to grow and learn with someone? Why expand the energy at all? If you do not have patience with the ones you love, how can you expect them to give you any when you need it? You can’t. Patience, understanding, and true honest listening are the ways forward in any relationship. If you can’t do that, then you need to reevaluate. If you can’t muster up some time and effort for those you love or care about, then why are you in a relationship? Think about it.

So how and when should your patience run out with someone? That’s for you to decide. I’m not advocating that anyone become and continue to be a doormat for someone. No way! But if you can honestly say to yourself that you’ve tried, you’ve worked hard, and you’ve done all you could then maybe it is at an end. Did you honestly try to see their view point? Did you explain your thoughts calmly with honesty? Did you try again and again to help or to listen? I am firm believer that our minds and hearts know when to let go or give up. If you are honest with yourself and follow your heart, you’ll know when to give up. Just make sure you are giving up on that person, not your patience. It is a virtue. It is a learned talent. It is a blessed gift you can give to those you care about. It is something you and only can decide when to give and when to take away.

 

Did I miss anything? Care to add anything? Please feel free to comment or even tell me I’m full of crap! Either way, do you think I’m on the right track? Let me know by commenting and as always, thanks for reading.

romance, Uncategorized

Sweet Little Musings Feb 2019

sweet little musings cover art wordpress

i laugh

i cry

i smile while

i’m dying inside

many try

but soon discover why

no matter what is done

or how much they lie

i’ll keep coming back

i won’t fail

i won’t take up their slack

i’ll get up each day

i’ll keep hoping

& i’ll pray

this life won’t beat me

this is know

today


I can see you’re breaking.

This betrayal has caused it.

The lies tear at your flesh

even as it crushes your heart.

Be still. Be quiet.

& maybe your soul will hear it.

All the times you believed

now know

it was just whispers of lies

blowing through the trees.


the betrayal was REAL

as the words slipped

from his mouth

he had convinced me

of something that

could’ve killed me

he had contrived a lie

then proceeded

to make me cry

then blamed me

for all the lies

he played a game

with my heart

in the end

he was the one

who lost


you convinced me

time after time

that you were

only mine

& i believed you

tossed aside the doubts

trusted you with my heart

but in the end

the betrayal was all

that was left

& i learned a lesson

never to trust your words

again


I AM a Steel Magnolia

covered in Soft Petals

but inside there’s

a Titanium Heart

If you can’t

or won’t

Appreciate that

Walk away now

Lest you will get Cut


And with a broken heart

she continued to move forward

The gray skies cleared

& the dark side

of the moon disappeared

Her smile became the sunshine

& her heart healed again

She walks a path alone

knowing that she’s found

a place to lay her heart

in the comfort of her own soul


i’m patient

i’m kind

i’m loving

& sometimes blind

i give what i get

& once you stop

respecting that

you’ve lost everything

i have to give


my goodbyes

don’t end in

screaming

or

crying

i simply

wish you well

and know that

you’ve lost

this heart


When she’s lost

When she’s spiraling out of control

When she’s deep down in it

& has no place to go

He holds her tight

He calms her mind

He gives her peace

the place where

her heart yearns to be


As you watch me beg

& see me plead,

you grin widely,

laughing inside.

You love it when

I tread on thin ice

not even offering

a rope, a hand

or even a kind ear.

It’s just your

favorite kind

of entertainment.

You laugh

while I cry.

You’re happy

when I’m sad.


deep down

in that dark pit

i sat alone

and then

all at once

it hit me

the epiphany

of a lifetime

i could be

the light

that drowns

the darkness out

then my pit

would no longer be

the scary place

in my mind

that keeps

me hiding


i clasped onto

that picture of you

memorizing each line

& that smile

i gathered my emotions

& held on tightly

to the idea

you were what

i wanted

but the picture

was all i had to love

ever since

you callously

murdered my heart


i searched high & low

looking for the love

that binds & defines

that idea hidden away

in the depths of my mind

i looked & i tried

time & again

to fill the cracks

with the mortar & clay

only to have more appear

when i wasn’t paying attention

wanting love to fill them


I ran out of Trust

a long time ago

so if I muster some up

just for you

you better appreciate that shit

it’s hard to come by

let alone give out

to those who can’t treasure

what it means to be

someone special to me


Be careful of where you search for your worth.

The world is full of fakers & liars.

They tell you that you’re not worth their effort.

They’ll walk on you, like you’re a doormat.

Don’t look to anyone to prove you’re worth it.

The answers are inside of you, not in some tweets.


i was broken

when you found me

more so when you left

lost & lonely left bereft

walking the path to my death

& then one day the sun came

& tried to stay

my tears ended all the rain

the clouds lifted away my pain

the path became a road

i would travel alone

with a smile that was my own


if you didn’t want to stay

all you had to do was say

instead of dragging this thru the mud

just go ahead and say we’re done


selfishly humble

unforgettably broken

just a maid in queen’s clothing

a shell of emptiness

lifelessly surviving

trudging along some lonely shore

with a heart that is dying

laughably sad

uselessly awkward

a lion hidden in a joker’s world

that continues to destroy her


save your heart my son

is the wisdom i impart

the chaos will come

but together

we’ll fight against this world

side by side we will be

my hand in yours

until we reach that sea

never to say goodbye

until one of us

no longer breathes


no one saves a broken heart

you can’t treasure

what you’ve given away

you can’t savor

words spoken in the moment

you can’t hold on to

what was never yours in the beginning

you can’t love

what can’t be trusted

you can’t heal

what is kept hidden


as the sun sets

the chaos collects

darkness will arrive

for a long night

monsters of emotion

will gather like tides

in this quiet time

alone

with the last

of the sunshine

a heart full of regret

that doesn’t want to forget

these last breaths

or the tears it’s wept


give me

the wisdom

that hides

in your mind

share with me

your heartaches

& the tears you cry

show me

the scars

you’ve earned

by just surviving


My love was

Just a past time

Your favorite hobby

It was a toy

You liked to play with

When you were bored

My heart just a game

You wanted to win

My trust just Something

You wished to get

Once received

everything there was

It was nothing

You loved

So you threw me away

Gone to stay


i no longer

believe the lies

i simply

believe my eyes

i shall not waste

one minute of my time

on those who

do not see what abides

i shall press forward

into my own life

to create what i know

is true & worthy of my love


i said goodbye

to the girl inside

the one that cries

i bid her ado

i let her die

with all the mistakes

she hides

i let her go

no longer to live

within my mind

i glued together

all the pieces

shes left behind

i reinforced

all the walls

she tore down

forward her mail

shes no longer mine


my heart is like an ocean

with lapping tides of emotion

filled with some distant lost devotion

it creeps up to the shore

before retreating forevermore

it drowns in the sands of sadness

before disappearing into the black madness

many things are lost to the sea of my heart


you’ve broken me

so many times by now

i’ve cried oceans of tears

only for them to be discounted

i’ve begged & pleaded

just wanted you to love me

well it all fell on deaf ears

didn’t realize i was talking

to a tall harden wall

didn’t see i was not

what you wanted

now our time

has ended


It was a lame excuse

to tempt the devil himself.

But nevertheless,

she persisted in her quest.

Twisting and turning

the facts of the past,

until it had become a huge mess.

Then one day,

the devil agreed to stay

and her soul was lost

in the misty moors of gray.


her smile

was unexplained

as the tears

fell down & stained

all she had

was lost in a sea of pain

all she was to be

slipped away in a heartbeat

she was but

some dream lost

in a reality she had tossed

like grass lost to the frost


she slipped & fell

But

she gathered her courage & wailed

Again

she tried to get up but failed

Then

she reached for the ledge with her nails

And

she clawed her way up from hell

But

she clasped on to all she held

Then

she stood strong & smiled


let the universe stop turning

let the sun stop burning

my soul hides

in the depths

of your eyes

let our lips

consummate this hold

let our planets

align & unfold

let our wants

become the desires that haunt

our dreams & realities

as the to seamlessly

combine as truth


let us come together

let us soothe each other’s pain

let us snuff out this shame

let us build up each other’s flame

let us gather our strength

to make it thru another day

let us laugh & cry

let us just try

to push aside

the pain we hide inside


been a long time baby

since i’ve seen your face

but you live on

somewhere in my memory

even when my smile fades

along with the feel of your touch

my heart still marks the days

as the color of roses fades


i do not sing

just for the sake

of you hearing me

i do not speak

just so you

can interpret my meaning

i do not write

for you

to gain insight

i sing for me

& my mind’s melody

i speak for me

even in my brevity

i write for me

to show my love

for both

the weak & the strong


They pity me

at least what They see

They look down

but never will believe

i wear no crown

no wings for me

just a lonely girl

waiting & hoping

to breathe

i’ll stay quiet

until i’m relieved

of this mortal shell

& from my cage

i’ll finally flee

to be with the stars

where i was meant

to be


you lead

i follow

we grow

that’s what

you promised

i kept

my bargain

you fled

& all was

squandered

now

we are

but weeds

growing in the

grass


as the rains came down

the clouds blocked the sun

darkness descended down upon

the earth & the ground

as my feet sank in the mud

my candle lost its flame

then the monsters came

causing my soul to shiver

from the storm

with my heart

beating like a drum


plain & tall

would always be

her calling card

nothing special

so many whispered

just an average woman

no where near elegant

just a sad face

with a broken heart

that takes up space

be polite & kind

they beat into her mind

sit quiet & smile

& stay in your box


she was just

a plain girl

nothing of elegance

was spotted in

her appearance

she merely faded

into the background

her voice was

nothing but

a whisper

her heart seemed

to live nowhere

her mind skimmed

along the skyline

& her tears became

all the rains


at the behest of my soul

my heart did fall

although my mind

warned that fool

this would be the last time

my heart did not falter

it did not fail

it completed its journey

following the path of least worry

until it surrendered to the fury

answering all the queries


give me your questions

i shall provide my answers

tickle my fancy

as i lick your nether

hold me tightly

how i love your grip

open my legs widely

as i take you in

come love my soul

& i promise to be

as wicked as you want me

& steal my breath

i don’t need it

anyway


her mask

was not made

of clothing

but rather

made of

concrete walls

painted as a woman

dressed as a puppet

& treated as nothing

she didn’t dare

strip the facade down

because it was the only thing

that kept her feet

on the ground


it was the end

of the beginning

2 hearts 2 smiles

feeling comfortable

in their own skin

2 laughs 2 cries

struggling through

to make a mends

2 destinies 2 planets

starting to align

as stars glow & shine

yes it was

some kind of end

but only because

it was when

They begin


dont’ disregard the truth

written down in so many books

love is a beast

an angry monster

waiting to eat us up

so many say

so many dare to keep it bay

but little do they know

it is a virus that seeps w/n our souls

we try to capture it

hold it close

but n the end

its all we can do


give me an angel

give me a savior

cause i’ve lost myself

give me a smile

give me a laugh

cause i’ve misplaced mine

give me a heart

give me a soul

i have none left of my own

give me a memory

give me a forever

i have lost my sight

give me time

give me effort

make me FEEL worth it


the heat

the electicity

the pulsating satiety

the words

the meanings

the emotions expelled

the smiles

the laughs

the feelings felt

isn’t this

what the heart is for

isn’t this

what was meant by love

isn’t this

what tears us apart

isn’t this

what rips thru your soul


the distrust of the world

leads to the closure of a heart

surviving behind tall walls

breathing in ashes & soot

grasping at clouds

with broken hooks

laughing out loud

as the clowns dance

hiding her face

while the tears ran

down a painted mask

that hides a frown


outsiders see

a picture perfect

vision of me

they don’t know

they cant feel

what it’s like to be

a caged soul

living in this hell

the sight that appears

is serene calm

& unreal

they do not fathom

the courage of imagination

that leads an angel

to chain herself

to a fable


grant my heart serenity

give my mind peace

leave my soul alone

cause my body never sleeps

don’t lay me on a bed of roses

cause i only feel the thorns

don’t flatter me with polite words

cause you don’t mean them at all


sing a soft melody

one that will soothe me

make it a sweet one

lest i may forget thee

fill it with memories

not tears of melancholy

hold each long note

so it makes my mind float

let me swim in the chords

& we shall forge

a lasting song

& never again mourn


she was a paradigm

of music & lyrics sublime

a constant overlapping pattern

of what was to happen

plain & unframed

no one ever knew her name

but upon her they looked

even as she cried & shook

her words will fade

& lose their shine in the shade

but her heart

she never gave


Give me a messy romance, full of laughs & passion.

Give me something that dares to break the laws of division.

Give me plenty beautiful days with sunlight casting away my darkness.

Give me somewhere to lay my head & heart & I’ll give all I got.


planets may align

while stars twinkle & shine

everything we know

will grow in time

reaching out thru the galaxies

things will appear in our realities

once a life in darkness

light does descend

to display a beautiful art form

words do flow

as souls begin to glow


love me

like there’s no tomorrows

lift me up

so i don’t drown in my sorrows

hold me tight

so i don’t forget what’s real

kiss me right

so i won’t forget how this feels


Was I insane?

Or was it just

sanity?

What to believe?

What filled my vanity?

Am I feeling something real,

or is it all a calamity?

Was it love,

or just a fantasy?

Did they hold my heart?

Or could it be

they just held

my mind

relentlessly?


her hair is soft lilac

her eyes are dark & deep

her voice speaks with kindness

& her mind stretches thru galaxies

she is the truest of souls

you’d ever meet

with love that shined

thru every drop of pain that seeps

you’d thank your lucky stars

if she ever shared a peek


she dances

to her own beat

making the fire roar

letting the ash

stick to her feet

she’s a weaver

of sex & heat

of love & defeat

she cherishes souls

devours minds

sells only gold

don’t look away

just be careful

or it”s you

she will own


Her heart was besotted

that she did realize.

But the real question was,

did he feel what she did?

So she took a chance

& gave him a glance,

only to see

he loved her heart

piece by piece.


it was but a moment

just a sliver in time

when we were as one

& your love matched mine

we were of one breath

two hearts with one chance

to seal our commitment

& say goodbye to the past

that time has gone now

with so many tears left to cry

& somehow still

your heart fills mine


It was no ordinary love.

They both admitted how hard it was.

Life kept getting in the way.

But both decided that they would stay.

No matter the obstacles or games they played.

They were two hearts that chose to have faith.


it was a kiss

full of bliss

that only spoke

of their awareness

a tender moment

forgoing all others

speaking soul to soul

with words

that never grow old


it would have been

year number ten

but many years ago

it had become just a show

they had both played the part

chipping away at each piece of their hearts

until the day came

when they signed papers

& the anniversaries faded away


I wrote each word

with you in mind

I sang every note

Time after time

Never once

Did I realize

You were just

Deaf and Blind


You stopped reading

my words months ago

I guess I didn’t realize

how much

they hurt your soul


i’ll give you hope

when you are hopeless

i’ll wipe away

those tears of sadness

i’ll lift you up

when you have fallen

i’ll build a ladder

so you can climb it

i’ll hold you steady

when you can’t stand

i’ll reach for your hand

show you that i’m a friend

cause

WE

Can


call me every name you can think

say all those terms of endearment

use each word as you wish

but remember this

Yours

Mine

Ours

are the only words

that truly mean

Anything


give me a purpose

make me believe

show me this is worth it

& it is true

teach me

what i don’t know

forgive my mistakes

accept all my flaws

take what i am

what i was

& be a part of

what i can be

rise me above

all the others

give me the love

my heart desires


it was an ancient thought

something written about

in every history book

it was an old wives tale

sung in songs

& written in the stars

it was a theory

something made up

of people’s misery

it was a long lost idea

that shredded the best

of our fears

yet we believe


in the desert of my heart

in the desert of my mind

lies a desert full of words

stuck in my desert mouth


i’d be lying

if i said

it wasn’t deliberate

i’d be a fool

if i claimed

that i didn’t choose to do it

i’d be false

if i stated

that i knew what would happen

i’d be blind

if i believed

that it wasn’t meant to be

but

would you

understand it

if i said that we can’t

chose who


I’m counting flaws

instead of stars

I’m counting scars

instead of wars

I’m counting on love

instead of lust

I’m counting on me

instead of you

I’m counting dreams

instead of realities

I’m counting smiles

instead of tears

I’m counting on life

instead of urging death


If you think

you are just bent

& not broken,

you need

to think again.

We are all broken

in some way,

in some shape,

&

in some form.

We all fall down.

We all get lost.

We all get weak.

Toss a line out.

Say a kind word.

Be the person,

you wish

you needed.


i cannot chase

something that is lost

i cannot search out

something i have tossed

i cannot give in

to something that does hide

i cannot live

with something that does not abide


with each touch

with each breath

you proceeded

to tear me apart

with each finger

with each word

you proceeded

to murder my heart

with each move

with each shove

you proceeded

to steal my love

with each piece

with each part

you proceeded

to run away

with my thoughts


i did it

i freely admit it

call me the convicted

i submitted

no one had to convince me

i gave it over

then i stole it back

i hid it away

never wanted to look at it again

i locked it up

threw away the key

now here i stand

naked & bare before thee

it’s broken now

like me


Time is a trick

Time has no value

Time is limitless

Time is limited

Time is what we waste

Time is what we save

Time is what gets lost

Time is why we fought

Time is what we give

Time is what we get

Time is how we win

Time is how we forget

Use it

or

Lose it


Rhyming Eulogy

she didn’t belong here

floating in our atmosphere

she wasn’t an ordinary soul

but a corpse sitting alone

she wasn’t magical

not even something fantastical

she wasn’t a queen

but a pawn discarded

she wasn’t anything

a tear on a sad face

then she was

just

space


 

romance, Uncategorized

Tacky Little Tweets Feb 2019

tacky tweets cover page wordpress

with his breath

so close to her neck

time stopped dead

& the world didn’t spin

whispers of desire

giving life to their fire

hands inching up her back

then his lips, then their tongues

there was no discussion

of what Was

only the emotions

of what was to Come


she grasped

onto his neck

daring him

to carry the weight

she held in

her heart & soul

she would give

all she could

if he would just

soothe her fears

& hold her close


drag your lips

across my shoulders

lay your teeth

on my neck

wander up

to that spot

that makes me

gasp & shake

be tender

but for one moment

before you proceed

to devour

all i have


He thought he was some stud.

Until the time came

& she was at the foot

of the bed, looking for

all he had bragged

about containing

in his pants.

But she was

at a loss to find

this big cock

that he promised her

he had hiding

in those tight pants.


give me passion

give me kink

make me blush

& make me think

strip me down

don’t leave anything

cover my soul

with only your skin

make my cheeks ache

as i breathe you in

force my legs to quake

while we drip in sin

don’t give me a moment

to let it sink in

just devour me whole

begin


I don’t need coffee or beignets.

I don’t need chocolate milk or pancakes.

Let’s skip the meal & head straight for the dessert.

You & me on the kitchen counter.


in the absence

of love

or sex

just give me

some old fashioned

CHOCOLATE


it was a day of love

& he loves chocolate

so on a whim i decided

to give him

everything he wanted

so i drizzled the liquid

nice & slowly

then giggled

as his bulge did grow

along with a smile

across his face

you’re such a tease

he whispered to me

i disagree

cause you can lick

it off me


leather belts

small welts

stinging touches

bated breaths

sweat dripped

pores glistening

soft moans

echoes abound

stars shone

kisses prolonged

two bodies alone

the day

marked by the sun

the night

was for their love

a memory

an anniversary

only the two

shall know


 

Uncategorized

Words for Fortune Cookies Feb 2019

words for fortune cookies cover art wordpress

Come correct with respect

OR

end up on the sidelines

full of regret.


it was

a life changing

epiphany

i loved him

and

he didn’t

love me


Kill that

awful silence

with the music

that balances


all the

yesterdays

used to be

todays

and the

many tomorrows

hold all

of our sorrows


Nothing is what is seems.

No one is just ONE thing.

Nothing lasts forever.

No one Doesn’t shatter.


waiting can be

the most dangerous game

someone can play


I don’t want a valentine

for just one day

I want a love so sublime

it dares to always stay.


love is an illness

that turns heart muscle

into mush


If they

walk away

don’t forget

if they needed you

as much as you needed them

they would not have walked

away in the first place.


If your love

is some game

then you are

playing it

all

wrong.


If you don’t

understand my words

or my thoughts

maybe

you weren’t

meant to.


I don’t need compliments.

I just need REAL emotions.

Be real

or

continue

to live in the land

of those who

always LOSE.


If flattery

gets you

where you

need to be,

maybe you need

to reevaluate

where you

are going.


 

romance, Uncategorized

Lost

Lost Cover art wattpad

Lost in the poems

You’ll never read

Lost in the songs

You’ll never hear me sing

 

Lost and gone with my dreams

Here are all the reasons Our love died

Crushed by Our vanity

And lost to Our pride

 

Lost in the times when

My hand reached out for yours

Only to touch the wind as it blew

As my heart was left un-held by you

 

Lost in all those lonely nights

When all I could do was turn and toss

Trying to keep you alive

Somewhere deep in the recesses of my mind

 

Lost in these weak moments

When I begged and I pleaded

Only to be turned away by you

With my soul left depleted

 

Lost in the memories

Of all those things that could’ve been

But instead I see they only lived

In a fantasy that our minds had made

 

Lost in the sad times

Once my words went unheard

And all these meanings

Lost their rhyme and reason

 

Lost but not forgotten

All those times you’ve stolen

Slices and pieces of my strength

As my tears went un-shown

 

All these things

All these trials and tribulations

I stood proudly by your side

Never once would you release me

 

It’s all lost now

Somewhere in my memory

Just another notch in your belt

Cause you don’t hold onto the misery

 

These will be

My Last Words to you and I hope you’ll read

They will serve as a reminder to both you and me

Of what you’ve tossed and thrown away

 

Let them seep into your heart

Like the sword of a coward

Let them bleed the cleansing truth

Until your soul finally acknowledges this proof

 

May you feel the pain as I do

May you suffer in vain as GOD judges you

May you live a long healthy life

I wish you not to struggle or have strife

I only wish to make you see

You should not have treated me

Like someone off the street

But rather

As the Queen

You made me believe

I was Meant to Be