
ice cold hearts
often break apart
shattered by the frost
covered by the snow drifts
buried alive
often they do not survive
instead left to thrive
in a lonely world of ice
untouched by the sun
un-felt by the skin
never to melt again
the conflict lies
between the heart & mind
one chooses to believe
while the other deceives
both are strong
& powerfully bold
while one gets broken
the other gets choked
a constant battle it seems
leaving you torn at the seams
struggling to get through
this mess that is YOU
Be brave
Be strong
although
sometimes wrong
Be kind
Be true
always
dare to be you
Be helpful
Be forgiving
it will help
with living
Be sweet
Be sassy
& try to
keep laughing
Be sad
Be lonely
it is
a part of growing
Be wise
Be smart
sometimes
we all fall apart
don’t say
you love my flaws
they only diminish
my cause
don’t say
you love my mistakes
they only make
me more fake
don’t say
you love forgiveness
it makes me
a false witness
don’t say
you love what i am
for it makes
this love a sham
i wrote you a letter
covered in tears & full of fears
i bore my heart with each mark
i ripped the edges
erased all the messes
corrected the errors
added in commas
edited my feelings
used flowery words for my meanings
until it was sheer perfection
& a false reflection
my wretched heart aches
while tears cover my face
i’ve said all i could say
so let’s now walk away
our story has been written
in the sands & the ocean
let the tide gather that love
& wash it away to another hub
let the water clear our footprints
& the salt seep into our wounds
poetry is an illness
of the heart & mind
poetry is the forgiveness
of all that’s gone behind
poetry is the gladness
of a happy soul
poetry is the sadness
of the one lost in toil
poetry is the meaning
missed by so many folks
poetry is the feeling
tossed aside by the yoke
love is
divine providence
they claim
a source of comfort
not one of fame
a place for your heart
& head to align
a calming presence
that does reside
they claim is it patient
& mostly kind
i call it a sickness
that drags you down
with the mighty tide
The fruit of our labors
hidden in a child’s eye
all the wants & desires
now grown into a man
all the toiling & suffering
stands before us now
a symbol of strength & love
since he was a child
now a happy adult
he makes his mom proud
as i watch him step forth
in a cap & gown
They call it progress
I call it loss
They say move on
I’m still stuck on a cross
They tell me don’t be sad
I tell Them I can’t help it
They tell me to smile
I cry instead
They tell me to let go
I cling to my heartache
They tell me They’re done
So I watch Them
Walk away
bright & sunny London
i stared upon the bridge
cool wind hitting my face
as i smiled like a kid
the large structure
looming over the river
was this the majestic construction
a song was made for
i laughed to myself
cause i was but
some silly tourist
London holds
a memorial for
a few lost souls
executed by an order
Anne & Jane
Robert & Catherine
their names
live on etched in
glass & stone
memory & tears
a living reminder
of old age fears
with many around
silence still abounds
as a tear i shed
for those names
i read
poetry is the song
my voice cannot sing
poetry are the words
that dare to live within
poetry is the rhyme
that keeps my life in time
poetry is the heart
that beats instinctively inside
poetry is a garbled mess
of my insane mind
set to a beat
anyone can find
Behind My Smile
lies a frightened girl
desperate to live
but afraid to love
i hide the pain
of this tortured soul
because the world
just cannot know
i fake happiness
to all those i see
they can’t understand it
so my smile gives them peace
planes, bridges & trains
i traversed them all for you
stood outside the door
waiting as i should
time ticked by in a flash
you never showed your face
just left me standing there alone
with tears streaming down my face
what a long way to go
just for a broken heart show
the pendulum swings
as my emotions give
way to the darkness of night
the sun shall creep up
& the stars shall hide
leaving me to decide
which turn
to take in my life
steal my breath
then take what’s left
swallow me whole
then let me know
how my soul tastes
as my heart unfolds
when i reach
the end of my days
let the world
be amazed
let the light
shine down
on my pale face
let the heavens cry
knowing i died
with no grace
let the oceans churn
as my body burns
& ash fills the sky
with the knowledge
of why
“There is no one left.”
She said in a soft breath.
“I am here.”
He said, hoping she’d take a chance.
the stars may shine
while the music is sublime
my heart seems to drown
in all this wasted time
He is no layover,
on the long flight
of my life.
He is my destination,
the place where my heart
shall lay still and quiet.
There is a time to move forward
There is a time to sit still
There is a time to jump ahead
There is a time to just chill
More importantly there is just time
Gather it, secure it
Feel it wash over you
But never forget
There is always a time to Move!
Women like me
do not move quickly.
We are not just
whimsical creatures
who swoon & crush.
We do not seek
only monetary things.
We strive for truth
& pray for peace.
We know our weakness
& display our meekness.
But inside we are sure
& our hearts are pure.
a pool of tears
whether happy or sad
can drown out the fears
that drive us mad
hidden within
those glistening things
lies the center
of our own beings
when the rains do pour
& tears wash to the shore
hearts get cleansed
while our souls do mend
we are all
damaged souls
this we do know
we try & then we fold
among the glitter & gold
we cover the scars
we bang against the bars
we struggle thru the storms
only to reach
the great pit of harm
broken, bloodied, bruised
our hearts can
& do survive thru
Love is
a prized Possession
Hearts will
fill & burst
Minds can
take a turn for the worse
While souls
can be taught
Love knows
when to come & go
& hearts get lost
in the snow & frost
Minds can do tricks
to fool the selfish
But Souls
bare witness
beginning to end
FEEL my words
Know that I am Real
Sing my melodies
& Know the earth turns still
Watch the progression
The up & downs of a wild Muse
Take your time
Notice the Rhyme
Breathe it in
& Exhibit the Sins
This is the Beat of a Heart
& it’s only just Started
i’ve been
a daughter
a sister
a mother
a wife
a best friend
a girl friend
an easy fuck
a hard woman
a sad girl
a happy one
a poet
a writer
a failed worker
i’ve been
everything everyone needs
then one day
i decided
i’d start being
the Girl
I Wanted to be
strip my walls
down to the studs
clean out the cobwebs
tear away the scars
drag out the old mortar
carry away the broken stones
stack up new ones
slather on the concrete
paying attention to each part
rebuild my expectations
form my new boundaries
show me what it’s like
to be loved
So many treasures
in this world
So many pleasures
to feel
So many hearts
to steal
So many memories
to fill
So many scars
to heal
So many things
to complete these needs
forgotten dreams
with so many meanings
just ripples in time
that go round & round
like some carousel
spinning through storms
& dancing in the rain
with reality pelting you
feeling like a snowstorm
when i close my eyes
you are all i see
the feel of your hands
on my skin
your hot breath
on my neck
your whispers live
in my head
as your love
fills my heart
and i know
you’ve stolen
all i am
all i was
along with my soul
and you sing
my song
forevermore
hidden in her eyes
were the reflections
of the storms that raged inside
hidden in his eyes
were the fires
of the desires that quelled
all of the doubts
that made their hearts
scream and shout
I lived
on the dark side
of the moon.
Until,
your star
eclipsed my sun.
Then all the universe
turned into
a journey
of musical notes,
& we flew off
into outer space.
I gathered all the
pennies I could find.
I counted them out loud.
I hoped, wished, & prayed
that on this day
I’d finally find
the value of my life.
raven hair
ice blue eyes
she’s nothing but
a wild surprise
seemingly calm
& such a lady
who knew
she curses like a sailor
don’t give her a chance
don’t bother to let her speak
just let her walk by
carrying the tide
She weaves a world
full of poetry & prose.
She’s a hurricane
swirling within a tornado.
She’s a witch, a magician,
a sweet angel hidden
within a demon.
She’s everything you want,
but nothing you need.
She’s all there is,
& all that
your love can’t see.
it’s everything
it’s nothing
it’s all the words
it’s none of them
it’s the stars & the moon
it’s the oceans & the lands
it’s the rain & the sun
it’s the meaning of us
it’s everything & the But’s
it’s all i am & all i was
it is just
Love
let’s skim the skyline
trace the moon’s rim
dance with the stars
let’s get our fill
skirt Mars
head for Jupiter’s rings
cuddle on Pluto’s cold skin
then fall from the universe
we’ll search space’s infinite worlds
somewhere out there
we could live
forever
Make my dreams….my reality.
Soothe my soul…with your sadness.
Feed my mind…with your melodies.
Sing my songs…with your heart’s treasures.
back then
you promised
& so did i
we said the words
we whispered the love
we promised a million years
& we meant it
from our hearts
now
we struggle to feel
missing time
losing the rhyme
grasping at tears
hiding all the fear
backing away
& from those promises
if you see beauty
within my words
i know that my voice
does not go unheard
feel me in
my stanzas & verbs
bathe in my light
even when
my darkness overshadows
know that my soul
holds no physical bounds
but rather
lives on in songs
push me away
just to pull me back
tear up my heart
only to fill it again
slice open my vein
just to stitch the wound
crush my soul
only to make it whole
collect more stones
so i can build my walls
make me over
so i can learn how
to lean on your shoulder
the beautiful mess
that lies in her head
spoke in separate phases
each took their time
although the bad
made her rhyme
while the good
just stood by
waiting for her clouds
to gather & cry
creating a rainbow
of distilled time
Push them closer
to push them away
Gather all their love
just to turn it sour
Reach for the stars
watch them plummet
to the earth
Smile instead of frown
your world crashes down
When you give the gift of love
and it’s rejected
When you think they’ll treasure it
and it just turns up to be neglected
Nothing could ever
hurt your heart better
*collaboration with Lillian Blaire
the car drives along
with a lost soul at the wheel
to nowhere in particular
just some place it doesn’t feel
passing the canyons of hope
& fields of sweet redemption
on to the desert
where it knows nothing is living
just a home for the empty
who are done giving
A NO,then a YES
each item
was ticked off the list.
The negotiation
had come to an end
&it was time well spent.
Each agreed to the terms.
Nothing left to do but earn
each kiss each touch
each scar was uncovered.
The decision had been made.
They were Both
here to stay.
can you teach me to love
can you teach me to grow
can you teach me
all those things
i am afraid to know
can you teach me to try
can you teach me how not to cry
can you teach me
all those things
i dare to hide
in my insides
when the sky wept
the sun did hide
lonely tear drops
flowed as she cried
boarding that train
then a plane
to the other side
she whispered to the wind
goodbye my love
Goodbye
hidden in her smile
it was just her style
to fake happiness
when she was only bereft
plastered across her face
she hid sadness with all grace
no one would know
no one could conceive
that her life was as fake
as the smile she makes
The forest clouded her skies
the leaves filled her mind
it was the winter of her life
so she sat still
and cried
she posed for the world
she masqueraded for her own soul
she danced to their music
never taking a step
to her own beat
she did as she was told
never making her life
her own world
she fit n the box
never dared to relax
then she gave up
never to know or live
her story
just theirs
His cruelty had no end.
She was broken,
bruised, & beaten,
but he persisted.
The slices & cuts
struck her down
to her gut.
Nevertheless,
he kept doing it.
He was rock & roll
She was classical
But when they met
They made each other
So instrumental
Drink in my scent
Fill my soul
Soothe the aches
Free your mind
Sooner or later
We’ll find
What we were lacking
All along
I’ll never forget
Only to recall
the look & the smell
the emotions & the falling
as my heart happily stopped
that minute you looked up
Give me a reason
Give me some semblance
Give me a place
Give me some space
Give me words
Give me more cuts
Give me a heart
Give me a home
Give me what
I’ve always wanted
on my knees
begging
oh please
let my heart cease
let me find some peace
oh please
let my contrition speak
let my wounds no longer bleed
oh please
hear my weakness
soothe my sickness
oh please
ease my mind
let me find
a place to lay
my weary head
a home for my heart
the sizzle of a skillet
the drip drip of a buttered biscuit
the smell of sausage simmering
with a fresh aroma
of blessed coffee brewing
clanking of knives & forks
humming from the mouths
just a quiet morn
with breakfast &
the breaking dawn
When I grabbed
a hold of the ledge,
I knew I was merely one step
from my death.
I breathed in slow & deep,
my body aching
with such need.
I knew I was at my end
inches away
from some new beginning.
And I breathed, still.
below the surface
beneath the crush
a hand does rush
to grasp at the mud
lingering n the flood
not able to
reach for truth
but rather drown
in whats left
of the proof
a life not well lived
but only with struggle
until submerged
somewhere n the middle
Cake for birthdays
Cake for fun
Cake for weddings
Cake for funerals
Cake cake cake
even if you can’t bake
there’s some cake
to be had
enjoy the sponge
lick the frosting
even shove it
in ice cream
enjoy each calorie
as it goes down
A master of disasters,
some steady
but silent denier.
Her mind won’t let her,
but her heart dares her
to listen, to believe in
some fading fantasy
that may soon be
some true reality.
Love is blind
as everyone finds
hearts fall fast
leaping away
from the past
jumping into
a future
unknown
unguarded
then broken
leaving us
looking like
a loser
windows into souls
& gateway to minds
time ticks away
like a solo bird flies
each whisper & breath
soaring into the wind
floating away
as space expands
way down deep
below the surface
where my heart sleeps
resistance is constantly met
fueling the fear in my head
spurring on the congestion
that floods with feelings
allowing the surface
to appear constantly serene
Her demeanor
Cool and calm
Her smile
Soft and sweet
But just beneath the surface
Rages another beast
One who is impatient
One who is not kind
A wicked cruel bitch
That will blow your mind
When she fell
she got up.
When she cried
she wiped away tears
on her own.
When she was broken
she glued herself
back together.
She was a woman
and not one day
came or went
without being
reminded of it.
She had fought hard
& still it was an
unexpected loss.
She had twisted
& turned herself
into tiny knots.
She had given up,
given in
& still carried
her own cross.
She had played
every part,
or so she had thought.
When nothing
was left,
she played her heart.
I don’t
need
some champion
or knight
to fight
my battles
for me.
I just want
someone to
touch me
in the places
where my
demons
sleep.
Spill the words
Slice the vein
Tear your heart open
Cause you’ll never know
What you’ll get
Could be ice
Could be right
Could be
One less lonely night
she had no doors
only broken windows
doused in gasoline
covered in fire
with a large moat
to swallow those
not worth her
signs all around
to warn off
all the tears
& frowns
no keys, no locks
only hardened deadbolts
She was the most
natural thing
you’d ever meet.
Her curves
earned through the years.
Her eyes clouded
with real fears.
Each scar could tell
you her story.
Her baggage,
only she would carry.
She was independent,
flawed, sassy,
and broken
yet
still
full of love.
Come & walk with me.
Let’s lay this blanket
down beneath us.
Let’s enjoy the sun,
the birds & the sway of the trees.
Then let me
make a picnic
of your body.
And we will both see
how the earth feels.
He was the champion of broken hearts.
She was the queen of darkness.
Together, their melody reigned supreme.
love is like
a slip and slide
slow to start
but when all
friction is lost
it’s just
head first
until you land
and your heart
smashes on the
hard ground
say what you mean
mean what you say
speak it now
before it all goes away
time but ticks
& the seconds do click
for we all have
only so much of it
so say what you need
do with all God’s speed
don’t let a moment go
without letting them know
else
you’ve buried your soul
we live
we lose
we breathe
we bruise
we love
we die
in between
we cry
knowing why
we all say
goodbye
say it TODAY
don’t wait
there may be
no more Tomorrows
there may be
no Tonight’s
so don’t give in
let out those words
say what you need
before they leave
and we are just
left to weep
it was easy
wasn’t it
just a few words
left unspoken
with all that
was unknown
the simplicity
of those words
& how we all
needed them
the definition
of what
lies within
of what
hides in our sins
& abides
in our skin
just those words
the ones
never heard
Her intentions
were not cruel,
but foolish.
How could she
hold all of this
in her empty shell?
More or less,
how would she
hide it from everyone,
even herself?
Truest meanings
mixed with
delicious inventions,
add time & you’ll see.
She’s falling apart
at her seams.
we were
just strangers
until words
spoke thru
the ages
we were
just two
lonely hearts
until that day
when our
souls met
like nothing
that has come before
like nothing
that i’ve ever known
like some sweet
melody of songs
your heart
plays the strings
of my soul
your mouth
sings the lyrics
of my mind
my love
you’ll always
have
worlds apart
but never
in our thoughts
the day will come
when there
will be no choice
but to succumb
to the beating
of our hearts
people ask me why
people don’t see me cry
they have no knowledge
they have no sight
people play games
people call me names
they haven’t learned
they haven’t yearned
people walk in a straight line
people dare to define
they haven’t ran off the rails
they haven’t had my travails
come sit closer
lean on my shoulder
let me rock you
let’s sit for one moment
there’s not much time
let us watch the world
as it races by
breathe with me
let me hear
your heart speak
to mine
just for this
one moment
in Our time
Sticky sweet
like some
cotton candy
Filled w/heat
like some old brandy
Salted with anger
like some stranger
Burnt like bacon
&there was no savor
each grew like weeds
fed the earth their seeds
none ever knew
what on this earth grew
as fire rained down
& silence was drowned
Way down deep
in that dark pit
where u hide
from the hate & spit
where there’s no light
& no 1 to call
somewhere u can just sit
& lick your wounds
bandage your cuts
heal your scars
rebuild your walls
where your demons thrive
& you think you’ll die
until
you survive
Music sings
delivering
well thought out
inspiration.
The strings
the notes
the words
somehow touch
on all those
verbs.
That lingering melody
or that soft whispering.
Calls to a soul
& makes an eye
cry fowl.
Oh how it chimes
with the memories
of the mind.
It was never
some
devious intention.
I know that
I never
mentioned
all of this.
I know you
have tried
your best.
I know We
never meant
to
fall in love.
But
here We are
with our eyes
lost
in some stars.
And what
comes next
is just
a series
of tests.
go ahead
my darlin’
your day
has broken
your heart
but for now
go ahead
& sleep
don’t linger on
all those things
that make you weep
those things
that heap
let your mind
slow down
& rest
no worries now
find yourself
hidden in
your dreams
It was never
my intention
to love you,
but you know this
is more than
just some game.
Never did I imagine,
you would beg me
to stay.
But now that
the time has come,
I can’t turn back now.
Let me hold you
forever,
or at least,
until
our breaths run out.
sleep my sweet love
lay you head down now
don’t you weep
the night is your friend
let your demons not seep
enjoy the silence
bathe in moonlight’s radiance
close your eyes to the world
& enter your dreams
so your mind can live
Cold and wet.
Paperwork covers the desk.
Was it just deja vu all over again.
Nope.
Just the beginning of another year.
Stuck in the same place as before.
When I can’t think
I sleep
When I can’t sleep
I dream
When I can’t dream
I scream
When I can’t scream
I bleed
Then I
Can finally
Feed
no more
crying myself to sleep
no more
hiding in dark corners for me
no more
losing my speech
no more
wishing for things that could be
no more i say
i just can’t take it
no more going back now
i have to stand & face it
i’ll be Your solace
& You’ll be my Redemption
You’ll be my Fire
& i’ll be Your temptation
i’ll be the beginning
because We Both Know
You’ll be my Only Ending
and
THAT’S how
the story goes…
He said he would
eat her heart
& possess her soul.
She said
she was something
he could
never hold.
what fevered bliss
is this?
a world wrapped up
in those mystic
hugs & kisses
as final thoughts
drift into new beginnings
the day breaks
on her End
never known
& mostly unheard
her ghost shivers
in the cold
a coffin of water
just food for the fishes
she whispers goodbye
to this world of vicious
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