lonely, sad, weeping
does the quiet one sit
on a pile of nails
made especially to fit
her large stature
now made small & weak
she’s humbled beyond
anyone’s peak
she cries for naught
cause nothing will change
she is a slave
in the governor’s chains
i threw
those roses
away today
they just
reminded me
of you
and all
those words
you said
take my sight
so my eyes won’t lie
take my hands
so i can’t reach out
your hand on my neck
to remind me of the breaths
your blade to my chest
to make my heart beat
you take control
cause my will
is just a fool
just a Hell
to choose
i heard that
felt the light breeze
sweep across my cheek
as soft as a rose
but it was your lips
i suppose
for the energy
the lightning
maybe from the sea
it made me
Feel you
right next to me
a tear fell
when i turned to see
you had left me
as quickly
as you had
stolen me
let the breeze
wash away the misery
let the rain
wash away the sin
let the clouds
block the sun
but let my skin burn
when the sun forces
its way out
let me dream
of a better day
let me wish
for you to come
& stay
i’ll keep praying
for the solution
to the problem
just grant me the time
those words you hear
year after….long year
they are but the demons
you fear
they come to
gnaw, grab, & rip
at you
pay no mind
to schemes of the brain
demons lie too
choose your reflection
accept it
slay your own demons
til they are but YOUR minions
with the past away
you forge ahead
into the cold gray
wings appear
along with a halo
tarnished, scratched & dull
but that freedom
you clearly see
a door open
for an escapee
into your world of imagination
truly to live unencumbered
the masks never numbered
images are worth words
words are worth souls
souls carry hearts
& hearts are made to be lost
bodies merely give
what the heart receives
but the soul
you can see
takes a world
to appease
be my universe
plant that seed
of love
with you & me
if you would
just for a moment
look at me
like you do with she
& make me believe
the dream i see
was only the
reflection of me
i take responsibility
for the storm ahead
is but full of memories
of this&that
shards that cause cuts
images that go black
all now of no consequence
only the makeup
of a hunger
that can not be quenched
just a flood
only emotions
to run through
until you have
full view
wash her down
with your words
touch those places
never seen or heard
pull those strings
fill her with those things
she dares not speak of
drag, claw, reach
her truth
who she is
what she wants
who you can make her be
do that
reach out
the hand that leads
always remember
with a true woman
of great intelligence
and wit
she will always
show you
exactly what
she wants you
to see
not a drop more
not a drop less
she is a confused mess
with beauty of brains
no one can ever
untangle
it was a dream
that idea…of you & me
it was but on the wind
whispering to me
dancing in my unconscious mind
you were next to me
holding, a smothering embrace
tied, twisted, tangled
were we
although in the memory
of a time never lived
we were blissfully one
wishing
i could
hold you
while the wind
whips around
us
while our embrace
chases the rain
to showers
the sun will shine
push the
darkness
to a fade
we just must
be strong
& continue
to hold on
if i ran away
where do you think
i could hide
from the struggles, the strife
who would shelter me
who would take my life
no one hears, no one learns
but i yearn, so yearn
to have that freedom
i so cling & claw for
to be Me
& not one bit more
the past may hold
the imprints to our soul
but come with age we do decay
the wearing thin of the outer skin
the thickening of heart muscle
our veins clog with memories
like rain in the street drains
washing the wounds clean
fresh pain does tend to mend
leaving a scar for a friend
sometimes
i breathe
for her
when she’s down
& drowning
when she can’t muster
a thought or cluster
i breathe
for her
she knows only strikes
beaten with words daily
some from outside
most from within
she is captive
in her
own cage
so together
we breathe
silently she screams
he’s been taken
from her grips, her lips,
her arms, her grasp, her fingertips
she just waits
for the storm
to swallow her whole
so that she may fall
to his deep, dark depths
& let her soul
meet his
never again bereft
when she is most vulnerable
he holds her extra close
when she needs to fly
he merely holds her cords
her layers unfold
but for those
who truly wish to see
what mystery she beholds
few scars show
only to those who know
while some see beauty
others see broken
weak, fragile, kind
dark angry turmoil
always in the mind
simmers, flares, rages
fighting against the light
they all beg her
to stay
never leave
they cry
rip and pull at her sleeves
ripping her like leaves
but she stays
she endures
When she smiles, her eyes smile too.
When she’s naughty, her eyes twinkle.
When she’s sad, her eyes lose their shine.
When she’s heartbroken, her eyes flood.
And the world stops to watch.
the taste of ash
coats a tongue
when a heart breaks
scars bleed in the beginning
when fighting
the desire the pull
darkness melts into another
twisting the knife further
cracking it all open
wide
the armor
firmly in place
the shield
held tight
but the mask
slips down
don’t make me bleed
so many have already
don’t make me weep
with something that just cuts too deep
see me not as i am….chained
but instead as i will be…free
i connect one word to another
vibrant visions i create
i spin the world
for you and for me
i slow time
i touch souls
never to be touched myself
i spill blood
only to never bleed…enough
sin is my DNA
hell my destiny
but for now
i entertain you
when the light dims
that’s when i swim
dark drowning thoughts
linger within
the day’s worries
stacked high
like a deck
against the player
but tis the game of life
of reality
that spreads me
far…far…too thin
here they come
can you hear them
they come not for you
but for what you give them
the pain
the love
that warm burn
in their hearts
in their minds
in their blood
in the sands of time
the puppet
the actress
the mask
the whore
you’ll find me
down by the shore
I am the caution
in the wind.
I am the whimsy
you dare live in.
I am the struggle
you hide within.
I am the chaos
that digs in.
I am the heart
that never wins.
Fools rush in
just look at me
Fools dive deep
see how i’m drowning
Fools live in dreams
because reality stinks
Fools won’t see
actions shown clearly
Fools want to believe
in fantasies & dreams
But
Fools finish Last
sitting & waiting
for ALL this
to Pass
She’s a little bit angel. She’s a little bit devil.
She’s sunshine , buried in a tornado.
She’s a #dream, that takes wings.
She’s a flower, with thorny stems.
She’s beauty, that’s not skin deep.
She’s a mind, that never sleeps.
She’s a heart, that always breaks.
you can’t say
i haven’t tried
you can’t say
i wouldn’t have died
you can’t say
that i lied
you can’t say
i haven’t complied
you can’t say
there’s nothing left inside
you can’t say
there is an upside
you can’t say
i didn’t take it in stride
you can’t say
i won’t survive
No more goals to score.
Nothing left here anymore.
Nowhere to run to.
No more games to play.
The night sky,
has taken you
away.
covered in rock
but not
made of stone
aren’t we all
just
Flesh & Bone
we take what we can
we make life what we want
we choose what to flaunt
we bounce around
we laugh, we flirt
we love, we hurt
we play, we stay
we leave, we cleave
we cry
then we die
Don’t act like it’s not been said. Don’t act like it’s not been done.
When left hanging in the wind, tattered is all that you’ll become.
When floating adrift, the sea swallows you whole.
When lost in time, your spirit just folds.
What happened to giving it your all?
feel the rumble
from under your feet
your world quakes
& shifts
with such
intensity
no hand to hold
no rock to cling to
just sheer will & strength
to hold you thru
watch it all crumble
gather what’s left
go forth &
take a new step
& don’t forget
who had your back
bare skin
breathing in
a melody sings
commit to the tune
focus on each note
practice, practice, practice
so that you may stroke
the lines, the chords
the sweet rhythm of life
until the crescendo
relieves your plight
then just lay back
& take flight
it’s not your lips
it’s not your smile
it’s not your words
it’s your mind
that drives me, wild
her skin
pale & pure
an icy landscape
that seems so demure
but inside
she holds the pride
this goddess
of such a winter’s moon
her crown
but ice & thorns
her blood
ice cold water
no longer holding
the red tint
that made her human
to begin with
to some
it’s just
filthy dust
to others
a select few
who may see
the dark jewels
what hides
in the dust
covered with muck
is a treasure
beyond measure
if you can sift
thru it
you’ll find
something
worth more
than just
money
lost in a daze
lost in your maze
nothing but
a smile to save
me
Fingers & Hands
Lips & new Lands
A touch & A glance
A sigh & A frown
Time & Sand
Lust & Demand
Sin & Redemption
Feral & Untamed
Breaking & Mending
Breathing & Living
Caring & Devoting
Passion Un-Molded
the wind brought your smell
the sun shined with your smile
the rain blew with your hell
the snow fell with your touch
there are just
not enough
seasons
in the universe
or words
in any books
that can
cover all
of it
we don’t always get what we want
we sometimes get what we need
the truth lays buried in between
we don’t always know how to go
we rarely know how to grow
the silence is only a masked scream
we don’t always know the answers
Because
we sometimes don’t ask the questions
you take my breath
while making me breathe
you take my words
while making me think
you take my soul
while making me just be
you take my heart
while making me bleed
Remember me
when you are lost at sea
Remember me
when you breathe in deep
Remember me
when the tears well up
Remember me
when covers aren’t enough
Remember me
when the sun shines through rain
Remember me
when you wash away the shame
Remember me
when you need a hand
it wasn’t life
it wasn’t fate
it was Her steps
that led her to
this stalemate
forced into a
precarious position
she still relies
on the most
rudimentary decisions
what goes up
must come down
what can’t fly
will surely drown
the characters
the charades
she dares to play
forced words & actions
she could stack
as high as the ceiling
the lies
the manipulation
still she strives
gives her all
those masks
those characters
are but a vision
just a slice
of some
hidden truth
inside
Don’t you remember
the words we said
the love we fed
Don’t you remember
the times we cried
the flaws we’d hide
Don’t you remember
how you didn’t care
i threw my hands in the air
Don’t you remember
when it no longer mattered
all that was, now shattered
Don’t dream of me, when the night howls softly
Don’t think of me, when the wind steals your folly
Don’t cry for me, when the seas begin to recede
Don’t hurt with me, when you are not bleeding
Don’t fake a smile, when no one is watching
Don’t shake off this feeling, don’t accept the denial
memories
like musical notes
fly with the wind
as we
dance against
the night
the hugs, the sighs
the hard lips
the hard thighs
the memories
burn but lightly
the song but sings
only slightly
a melody that conjures
a memory
some long lost dream
lives on
within me
I got lost somewhere
I know
I couldn’t find the light
even with a hand to guide
I couldn’t see the end
even with a flashing siren
I wouldn’t take in the view
even with a glass for magnifying you
I wouldn’t accept the deal
even with a contract
signed & sealed
i just knew
it was all true
when I saw you
she burns
brighter than
any fire
her hunger
fans the flames
her revenge
is what keeps
it tame
her emotions
fling sparks
watch as she walks
her smile
will light you up
witchy woman
faerie goddess
sexy enchantress
your worst nightmare
could be granted
sip some elixir
maybe just
let her kiss ya
her poison
seeps in your soul
then you just won’t know
that she’s taken
all the control
And one day
the sun dared
to shine
on her face
when her skin
was alight with
such a vision
her mind, her soul
aligned into a
collision course
the stars, the night
they have their plights
but such a treasure
she does magnify
A True Light
when her windows
fill with clouds
don’t doubt
the rain is falling
somewhere inside
when her drops stall
& her mouth falls
the silence that resides
takes precedence
over the slow sighs
& when her words
don’t form
make sure
to hold her
arm
she made
a slow ascent
with her crown
of thick thorns
but as she climbed
she did raise stones
although
she has no need
for words or deeds
& she does not plead
for your woes
she does not want
to fight your foes
but rather
gather what’s left
after all crumbles
clouds on my tongue
a new song to be sung
while the birds chirp & hum
dawn is coming
darkness yet fades
when i swing my hopes
on a his sweet gaze
lay my dreams
on some fantasy
wish for arms
that hold tightly
& words with no bite
a space of no plight
just some flight
paths like veins
twist&turn
under the skin
our travels
our destinies
they lie under
what’s the truth
a mixture of blood
emotions, cells & platelets
mixing, twisting, bending
filling in
each cut, each scar
each crack, until it’s normal
smoothed over
all knowledge
gained
Imagine one day
there came a time
a place
where there
were no lies
no motives
when truth
reigns supreme
and no one can
deny the scenes
or falsify
the technicalities
a time when
mirrors are
enough proof
to sow a pattern
of humble discourse
soft but sweet
a concrete texture
laid beneath
a glass sculpture
a transparent illusion
of delicate strength
mixed with confusion
or maybe
just a stroke of
her inner reflections
instead of her transparency
no one sees
the forest
for the trees
what about
the leaves
the long sturdy
trunks
the roots that
are sunk
deep down
into the soil
planted by such
luck
a wisp of wind
floated that seed
to land here
& become
those trees
loss of sight
loss of sense
loss of light
gain some hope
fight the storm
use your strength
to overcome
darkness fades
like the brightness
from the shades
draw back
the curtains
see all those
gears
but
there are no
instructions though
that show you
how to
control it
chains can’t
hold
her down
no cage
could keep
her bound
no words
can save
her soul
no time
is left
just the space
some life
left here
alive
She wasn’t waiting for a disaster.
She wasn’t waiting for some kind of master.
She wasn’t waiting for some sweet fairy tale.
She wasn’t waiting for some knight in tarnished armor.
She carried her own sword.
She wrote with her own pen.
She brewed her own storm.
She held her own strength.
don’t beg
don’t plead
don’t ask again my sweet
i’ll gladly give it to you
just a small piece though
i don’t have much left
but what i do
i’ll share with you
So sorry to bother.
Don’t mean to be any trouble.
I realize now, it’s my own fault.
I just know how to break my own heart.
a witch
with no potions
a game
with no emotions
a darkness
with no fangs
an angel
with no wings
a chance
never taken
words
never spoken
a time
that is frozen
moves
that have lost motion
a heart
left torn & broken
a sadness
all consuming
whether it be
the #hustle or the flow
whether it be
the faith or the hope
whether it be
the integrity or the #loyalty
whether it be
you or me
whether it be
or not to be
let’s just wait
& see
No super woman here.
No goddess, no angel,
& not a professional.
I’m not a machine.
I am just skin & bone,
encasing fragile emotions.
I am my scars.
I am my past.
I am today.
I still make mistakes.
But
I hold my tomorrow’s
& all their sorrows.
don’t be false
don’t be true
don’t be kind
don’t be cruel
don’t be loving
don’t be petty
don’t be a dream
don’t be a fantasy
don’t be Anything but You
don’t be anything else
that’s Not True
