In every ending
There once was a new beginning
Everything that starts
The pieces come together
Before they fall apart
Ties that once were strong
End up burnt & tossed along
These narrow paths we walk
Begging the sun to give us a spark
____________________
Silence is a killer
In this life we live
Music is a healer
As we fail to forgive
Actions are deliberate
No matter the pain they cause
Scars are a commitment
They tell this story of ours
____________________________
It’s Time To Say Goodbye To
Liars
Fakers
Bullshit makers
Shame
Doubt
A head in the clouds
Those who don’t care
Those who don’t share
Those who make life unfair
The future
The past
These scars that last
Today
Tomorrow
Those things that cause sorrow
________________________________
I’m not searching for it anymore
I’m gonna let it find me
Until then
I’m just gonna keep settling the score
_____________________________
2020 Will Be The Year For
new beginnings
old endings
warm nights
cold mornings
loads of writings
incessant rhyming
determination & focus
no lies or hocus pocus
break the lock on my own cage
spread my wings & RAGE
“rage against the dying of the light”
be myself w/out fear or fright
_________________________________
Life is meant to be lived
Pain is meant to be felt
Love is meant to wilt
Fear is a hypocrite
Blood is meant to be spilt
Revenge is meant to be dealt
Hearts are meant to be split
_______________________
the pitter patter of the rain
dulcet sounds in a timed refrain
washing away the old year’s pain
pushing the new year into frame
let us remember these moments that ticked away
let us forge ahead to make better days
_____________________________
Come & join the circus
It’s the biggest show you’ll see
Come make friends with the tigers
Fly high above the human sea
Come paint on a smile
The makeup never fails
Come & risk this fake life
& you’ll feel the highest high
_____________________________
She blamed her foolish courage
For believing in the lies
She blamed her scarred heart
For thinking she could survive
She blamed the time & distance
Screaming to fate that it wasn’t fair
She blamed herself more than anything
Cause her soul would now be forever scared
____________________________
A new dawn breaks
It’s a new day without the wait
The sun will no longer hide in shade
As time will always tick away
No reason to look back now
On your darker days
Turn & face the south wind
As it caresses your face
Just keeping moving forward
Always
________________________________
The sashay in her hips
Drew his eyes in
She was sex on a stick
& he wanted all of it
Little did he know
She was just a show
Never would he get
What was hidden down below
_____________________________
Her love entertained him
Made him feel like a real man
She had given all she could
He had squandered everything she was
Her love, devotion & emotion
Had wrapped him in a cocoon
She was left out in the cold
When he deserted her all too soon
_____________________________
Seduction was
The name of the game
Passion was
The explosion from the fireworks
Truth was
The dynamite that blew it to shreds
Hate was
The result of a love that was a lie he fed
_______________________________
Fireworks were in the air
As the anger
Radiated from her stare
Replacing all love & passion
That they had once shared
His betrayal caused an explosion
Bringing down all the walls they had molded
Nothing would be the same again
She had lost her love & a friend
____________________________________
she searched for harmony in the song
words for her soul to sing along
she prayed for peace in her heart
a new day & a new start
she wished for dreams to come true
a place where fantasy did not brew
she hoped that love one day would show
giving her a space where she could grow
_________________________________
I’ve given up on a lot of things
But living to be the real me
Just ain’t one of them
_______________________________
You lost the right
To feel me cry
When you walked out
Of my life
With all that you brought
______________________
Come walk through OZ with me
Let’s dance down the yellow brick road & sing
Let’s get high in the poppy field & fall asleep
Forget the Good Witch &
Let us make friends with the Wicked one
Let’s tear this fantasy apart
Only leaving what WE wish it to be
______________________________
Give the gift of kindness
Sincerity & truth
Give the gift of your heart
To those who you approve
Give the gift of love & light
To who help u through your plights
Give the gift of your time
To those who help your heart shine
Give to those who care & share
Then you will not live in despair
__________________________________
There were no kisses
No words or hugs goodbye
Just a blank screen
Cause no love was alive
No ending to the story
No one left to care
No reason to cry
Only the deception
Left from all the lies
No more good mornings
No more sleep tight my dear
Only emptiness
Filled with fear
___________________________________
I heard the bells
On Christmas morn
It was the rhythm of life
Chimed notes filled with scorn
The bells sang a song
Of love lost & forlorn
The exaltation
Of sin unknown & unborn
No one else heard
As I sang along
Whispering death from above
________________________________
May your days be bright.
May you laugh with all your might.
May you hold a loved one tight.
May you never forget these nights.
____________________________________
Wish I would’ve
Enjoyed those family holidays more
Wish I could’ve
Contained the love felt in those rooms
Wish I would’ve
Cherished those precious times
Wish I could’ve
Snapped a few shots of all those smiles
Wish I would’ve
Never lost what I forgot
______________________________________
Doesn’t feel like Christmas
No twinkling lights
Only cold nights
No presents, no tree
No good will left in me
Awaiting the new year
To see what it will bring
Hoping that I’ll forget
All these memories I regret
Praying for winds of change
To take my heart back
From where it came
_________________________________________
I could pretend I don’t hurt
But what is that worth
I could pretend that I don’t miss u
When the winter breeze cuts through
I could pretend to be a happy heart
Doesn’t mean I’m not scarred by the loss
I could pretend that I’m not alone again
But this cold bed reminds me I lost a friend
____________________________________________
What had happened in the past
Was a moot point at last
All that was
Will never be again
All that love
Would always be seen as a sin
Nothing left to do
But to leave it behind & go through
Forging into unknown territory
Facing consequences proved to be scary
____________________________________________
Their luminescent love
Shown brightly from above
Their hearts & souls
Bound with a love never told
It was instinctively a given
No life before it was really living
Fate had led them to this crest
& only death would leave them bereft
__________________________________________
Riddle me this
What is your bliss
Is it a mouth to be kissed
Or a heart you didn’t miss
Warm arms to hold you tight
Or to stop a hateful fight
Is it the magic when you touch
Or a loss you forgot ever was
A dream of some happy future
Or erasing past pleasures
What is your bliss
Do you have it?
_________________________________________
Slivers of me
Is all you’ll see
Bits & pieces
Broken shards
That I release
Portions of a love
That will never be
Movies of memories
Never set free
Scenes of scars
Forever concealed
Musical madness
Notes dancing in silence
Words never to be connected
Only proofed & corrected
________________________________
A holiday wish
Is never to forget
All the ones that had passed
All the smiles, all the laughs
Not the material gifts
But the time we spent
When we were in love
When we were loved
Times when the world wasn’t
When peace was in our heart
& madness was forgiven & forgot
_____________________________________
The clamor of the city
Afforded her no peace
The calm of the countryside
Allowed her lungs to breathe
The mist of the hills
Clouded the love she would feel
The noise of the train
Gave her mind a new refrain
The scribbles of love notes
Were for a man she’d never name
_______________________________________
Frost fills this place
Shot my heart into outer space
Covered now with ice
& doomed to fade
There is no more light
For this cold to take
No sun left to ignite
Or restore my faith
Nothing but blackness
No galaxy for a mate
Only emptiness
The sadness will never abate
______________________________________
You can scratch the surface
But you’ll never really know
What’s on my mind
What lives inside
A smile covers the tears
A laugh that hides the scars
Words only magnify the fear
Notes are only a song you dare to hear
But it all leads to a love you’ll never feel
______________________________________
The wooden paddle was soaked
With each soft stroke
Dipped & then lifted
Into the small pond
From her boat
Her moves were methodical
With the utmost caution she controlled
Each turn & each hold
Plotting the course
Only she would know
_____________________________________
As winter arrived
Frost fell from the sky
Kissing each blade of grass
Halting its growth as the night passed
Glistening in the sun
A new dawn has begun
Crackling against the small feet of beasts
As they come from their homes to find meat
To feast on a new days treat
_______________________________________
Her words were not profound
Just barely an audible sound
But the emotions hidden deep within
Shook the core of any heart that dared to listen
If you quiet your soul you just may hear
Each syllable & vowel might seep into your ear
Shocking your system & allowing you to feel her fear
_______________________________________
Listen to
The emptiness
That speaks
Hear the silence
Goodbye
My sweet
Feel the ache
That stays when
You are asleep or awake
Trust your gut
When it screams
I’ve had enough
________________________________
She sat
Each night
With one candle lit
In the quiet darkness
She relived
Each one of her memories
From those that made her smile
To the ones that
Caused her to cry
She would breathe
& then she would sigh
All of her time
Was simply wasting by
As she recalled all those
Moments of her life
___________________________________
The walls are tall
The windows are all
Shuttered up
The drawbridge is burnt
& deep is the moat
The cannons have no powder
Rains are fierce
& lightning clatters
No candles are lit
No energy left for it
This castle is closed
Only thing here
Are it’s ghosts
_____________________________________
With each tear
That flows
I learn how
To let go
When my eyes
Are all dried out
I’ll see what was real
& that you were fake
With the new dawn
That graces my night
I’ll force myself up
& my heart to push on
But I’ll never forget
How you stole my heart
& then left
________________________________
Does every drop of rain
Scream my name
Does each flake of snow
Make you feel hollow
Does the breeze
Cause you to feel uneasy
Does the thick fog
Remind you of what was not
Does the tide
Boost your pride
Does the big pond
Remind you of my oceans
Do your tears
Drown the memories
Of Our Year
___________________________________
Don’t you dare speak
Those sweet little lies
Don’t you see
The tears in my eyes
Didn’t you feel
How you shook my pride
Haven’t you witnessed
The scars in my mind
Didn’t you notice
My frightening silence
Don’t you care
That we lost what we shared
Isn’t it enough
You’ve turned me to dust
______________________________
Your heart is black
Tainted with scars
Diseased tissue
Living falsehoods
An unbearable ache
That stifles
Every breath you take
You are miserable
But still
You fake kindness
Words with no feeling
Actions with no meaning
Cause your heart
Is forever grieving
__________________________________
Slivers of Time
Slide by with silent rhyme
Slivers of my soul
Wash away like sand
When the tides leave the shore
Slivers of my heart
As it’s cracked wide open
Fade & fall apart
Slivers are all we are
Bonded together by our scars
_____________________________________
Put your collar on
Get into position 1
Take time to get your mind right
I’ll not stand for you to fuss or fight
Tonight you will remember your place
On your knees, face down, prostrate
I will give you all you ask for & more
We will begin when you are sure
___________________________________
My words are just me
Dripping from my heart consciously
Although I dare not speak
My words show what haunts me
A world in a glass menagerie
A cage with no particular key
Mindless useless poetry
So for a few moments
I can stand to breathe
___________________________
With the crack of his leather
My body faltered but did not sever
After all this is what I had wanted
To be used, abused & taunted
My heart pulled by his strings
Twisted & torn into many things
Delicious pain to clear my mind
Exquisite pleasure felt so sublime
______________________________
You steadied my feet
When I wobbled & weeped
You held my hand
When I had no strength left to stand
You threw down rope
When I was lost in the pit & choked
You sat quietly by
Supportively when I felt I’d die
You opened my eyes
When all I could see were lies
You saved my life
Friendship was your only price
__________________________________
The words were so
Sweet
But action did beg my feet
To run from the falsehoods
He did dare to speak
In my soul I did know
I’d play a fantasy role
Never to be seen
In sunlight’s soft gleam
Only to be tossed
In the rubbish
When all was lost
________________________________________
W/the end of the year
Comes the failings of an era
What was shall no longer be
Walking alone down the path u see
Though rains & snows may come
Know there’s still a new day that hasn’t begun
A new goal forged fiercely in your soul
Time to step away from all that has made you less whole
________________________________________
Let us be silent
In the dead of night
Let us breathe deep
As we face this plight
Let us be calm
When storms rage from above
Let us hold tight
These bonds we’ve forged with might
The sun shall come again
& with that this shall end
Leaving us this moment
With minds strong enough to hold it
________________________________________
She stood before him
Desperate to open her mouth
& speak
Wringing her hands until
She had red marks on them
Afraid to hear
These ludicrous things he’d speak
Knowing she was
Moments away from the end of this thing
__________________________________________
I dare to breathe easy
As winter envelops me
The crisp cold wind
Surrounds my soul
& binds the loneliness
To my skin & below
They gray skies mirror my mood
Ensconced in twinkling lights
& the cheery loving herd
Yet my heart stays broken
As the last leaves go frozen
___________________________________________
Surrounded by
Deep green & heavy mist
Her worries seemed to be
Spirited away with the new found bliss
In the quiet morning hours
It was the perfect time to clear out the clouds
Let her heart & mind release
The evils that haunt her deep
Dream of a new day
Filled with peace
________________________________________
I speak my mind
In these words that rhyme
Things I can’t say
Except when I pray
Words from the heart
The last little spark
Of a time when hope was stark
But since has abandoned me
Leaving deep scars
Words from a soul
Although never told
But as I ink this
My life begins to speak
______________________________________
Enthrall me sweet release
Take me away
From all these things
Clear my mind of all that clutters this peace
Soothe my soul when it flies free
Transform my body
Into what I dream it to be
Take my whole over
& just allow me to BREATHE
________________________________________
Her heart needed comfort
Her body craved such a thing
Some home for her soul
To live in sweet peace
A place to rest her mind
Where her voice could sing
Freedom to decide
On how she should be
______________________________________
Comfort from the storm
Something safer than life in the Norm
No blankets, no sweaters
Would ever be warm
Enough to keep her heart
From freezing alone in the cold
_________________________________
Nose in a book
She was an unpaid librarian
With a mind to the words
She ignored how the world turned
Living only in the fantasy
Characters with such complexities
She felt their anger
Their sorrow & pride
Only when she read that
Did she feel so alive
______________________________________
She played honestly
And always for keeps
He played the game
Too well for her to see
___________________________________
It was just a game
Back & forth of indecent messages
Tickling & taunting of time that was precious
Dreams of how it could be
Ignoring realities you can’t see
Hopes of what each other may mean
But when the last piece is set in motion
The game would be over
No more devotion
_____________________________________
Her pink pastel lipstick
Complimented her smile
Shy & kind
U could see it in her eyes
Soft rosy cheeks
Curled up high when she was pleased
A look of such innocence
No one would ever know that she wasn’t
But she was happy to keep them wondering
Only a few would really see
______________________________________
I folded up your shirt
Placed it neatly on the cover
Snapped my suitcase shut
Then walked right out
Left you & that damn lipstick
On our collar
That some woman wanted me to see it
So I’m giving you what you needed
Free to do what I was impeding
Keep your whore & your feelings
_____________________________________
totally
absolutely
wholly
completely
eventually
sufficiently
inevitably
forgettable
____________________________________
The Month of Loss
Trees have lost their leaves
Year blew away in a strong breeze
Friendships & lost loves
Came & went with sad ease
Melancholia seeps in deep
With a lingering of disease
Where did all this time go
I scream & plead
As I stand beneath mistletoe
All alone on New Years Eve
______________________________________
It’s one thing to listen
Another thing to hear
But when you are a self centered egotist
Sound goes in one ear
And then it just disappears
____________________________________
My mind is tired
& my bones are weary
Constantly a struggle
Against this life within me
Time waits for no one
Not man nor woman
But ticks away
In a rugged pace
A solemn sweet rhythm
That makes the heart
Dance & sway
No matter how weary
This soul still thrives within me
_______________________________________
To know me is to love me
Or is it hate instead
Many have come & gone
Now my heart is dead
Souls have wandered up & down my life
Where were they when I was
Left to drown in my strife
To know me is to love me
I’ve heard it said
But where were they as my mind strayed
Or are they dreams in my head
________________________________________
Were you meant to know me
Or just what I seem to be
Were you meant to see me
Or am I a figment of your dreams
Were you meant to taste me
Or what do you think my smell would be
Were you meant to love me
Or did you ever wish
That I was your missing piece
________________________________________
I know that
You are watching
Behind your hidden shield
Desperate to touch
An angel that lurks
Behind my lock & key
You read the words with purpose
Eager to get a glimpse
Of what I dare to hide
Is it a sweet smile
Or what is really
Behind my eyes
Careful what you lust for
You may be surprised
______________________________________
If wishes were dreams
I’d sleep endlessly
Always with feelings
That seep into me deeply
Life would be techni-colored
Grays would fade away
Hurricanes would never come
Tears would be gone to stay
If wishes were dreams
I’d have plenty of these
Sweet sounding fears
That melt away gently
_______________________________________
I step forward
In a slow pace
Weaving thru time
& what’s left of space
Feet dancing along
A shimmering pond
Wings lightly bouncing
As the breeze blows on
The sweet silence of rain
As my heart still remains
Hallelujah is the refrain
Sang again & again
________________________________________
I wanted to tease you
Just a little bit
So I leaned over sweetly
Just to kiss your neck
Knowing what it would mean
I smiled & you gleamed
That was the beginning I needed
& I left the rest for you to finish
____________________________________
Lost & gone away
My heart chose not to stay
Pieces blew away with the breeze
Only to settle in the highland seas
Shards that match scars
Buried in the sand on those cold shores
An empty shell of a skin suit
Is what’s left to encase my mood
_________________________________________
It takes 2 to fight
But only 1 to spite
Which 1 are you
Can you look at yourself in the mirror
When this is all through
_____________________________________
I’m not chasing people
I’m not chasing a high
I’m not chasing chaos
Or ripping clouds out of the sky
I’m walking down here on earth
Not living in some fantasy world
I’m not chasing what will never happen
I’m enjoying what life has to offer
_______________________________________
Don’t tell me your excuses
I won’t tell you my lies
Let’s just act like humans
Is that too hard for you to try?
Be who you are
& I’ll just be me
If we get along
Then we’ll wait & see
But if we rub each other wrong
Then let’s go & be free
Why murder a heart
If you can’t love me
____________________________________
I write for you
I write for me
I write some days
Just so I can breathe
I splay out my feelings
So all can see
& when I’m quiet
It’s cause the storm has me
When days are dark
My pen has no spark
But when the sun returns
I don’t just blaze
I Burn
________________________________________
When you no longer can see me
I give you these words to read
When you can’t hear me sing
Remember the melody & breathe
When you don’t feel my soul when you sleep
Open these scrapbooks & you will feel me
When my spirit is long gone
You’ll never forget
But you’ll move on
______________________________________
Sometimes I’m wrong
Sometimes I’m right
But no matter what
My eyes are open for this life
No way will I stay stuck
In a cage, a tunnel or a ditch
I’m going forward
With my real friends’ support
I won’t close my eyes
Not even if the night disguises the light
___________________________________________________
It wasn’t Love’s fault
Although my memories u do haunt
It wasn’t the timing
The distance or the blessed rhyming
It wasn’t my heart
Although torn & tattered u did taunt
It wasn’t my intention
To get distracted into degradation
No it wasn’t Love’s way
But still here I am
Alone to stay
____________________________________
Some people don’t want to learn
They’re stuck in one place on this journey
Some will never open their eyes
So they manifest treachery & wicked devices
You cannot drag them or push them along
You just gotta walk by
& wish them good luck on their own
__________________________________
No one knows
What the hell is going on
So many damn lies
But I can see passed your disguise
You prop yourself up
Like a big cat on the hunt
But you’re really a RAT
Chewing holes thru scrap
You’ll end up in a trap
Your hearts been dead
Soon your body will match
___________________________________
Tiny Heart Syndrome
It effects more than one in a million
Causes narcissistic tendencies
Hate filled speech & elitist malignancies
The belief that everyone is out to get you
& that you know better
Than the rest of these vegetables
But you don’t know how to love
Which means you’ll Always be crushed
____________________________________
When you are full
Of all the pain & hate they spill
You’ve got no choice
But to get up from the table
Walk away from all that noise
_________________________________
I did everything you asked
Stood beside you as the time passed
Kept my mouth shut
Tried to help you grow up
Gave you solace when you cried
Cheered you on as you struggled to survive
Now you’ve shown me who you really are
& all I have left are these damn scars
_____________________________________
I knew you would be trouble
My gut told me so
But I let my kindness win out
& now here we go
_________________________________
Your facts aren’t facts
& Yeah I’m gonna keep talking back
You can’t convince I’m wrong
Just cause you can’t see what’s going on
Just because that’s your experience
It doesn’t make it mine
You just keep blabbing
& I’ll keep the rhyme
_______________________________
There are times
When words don’t soothe
And holding a hand
Is the only proof
___________________________
You’ve convinced yourself
Your lies are the truth
Too rigid to budge
Or consider anyone else
Too afraid you’ll be called dumb
The chip on your shoulder is proof
You’re just too closed minded
For anyone to get through
But you’ll bitch & complain
Oh Woe Is You
_______________________________
You can accept my words of solace
Or continue to live in this nightmare
You can reach out from this pit of despair
Or wallow in your sadness & broken mirrors
You can appreciate a gesture of friendship
Or bite a hand that hopes to heal
You can continue to blame everyone else
Or just begin to feel
___________________________________
Funny how the circles go
This one & that one
Backing each other up
What a show
How one tells another to go
But when Twitter wars break lose
What else is there to do
Shut down the account & reboot
Those tweeps won’t know
The new account is just you
___________________________________
Push me against the wall
Put your hand on my throat
Lean down & kiss me
Make my legs shake
Give me something
More than just physical
Secure my mind
Prove my heart is not invisible
___________________________________
Un-perfect
Flawed human
Sassy to a fault
& polite as a wall flower
Country rough rider
Discreet city street walker
Unbalanced music stalker
Gentle as a rose
& a real ball buster
Defiant loving mother
Rebellious sighing daughter
Poet
Singer
Writer
Being true to myself
Is I desire
____________________________
Broken
Is
Beautiful
Torture
Is
Cruel
Healing
Makes you
Full
__________________________
I’ll ride the calm sea
Enjoy the soothe melodies
Wind will come to whip at me
But I’ll be strong
& let it not carry me
To a place
I cannot face
But push further on
Until I reach
The end of the shore
____________________________
It was a whisper
Something only
For me to hear
A melody that
Floated passed me
Words from somewhere
Way down low
Only to surface
When my mind allowed
Those things that
Only heal in time
Storm clouds that
Pass with no lightning
I will just wait
To breathe
Until waters calm
___________________________
And with a magic wand I wave
I pray my sadness has gone to stay
This pain I hope never to return
My soul is weary of being forlorn
______________________________
My heart beats
Like a babbling brook
Following along the rock beds
Down to a nook
My tears flow
Like the soft mist
On the mountains it grows
Gently pelting the skin below
My soul sings
Like angels speaking in the breeze
Never to be something so real
But only for me to feel
______________________________
This world
Full of black & white colors
Various shades of gray
That fill time
Night & day
Where are the colors
That follow sun rays
Where are the pastels
Bright red shades
Long gone
Is the green on a shore foreign
Lost are the gold tones
That set Fall in motion
_________________________________
I smile thru tears
Cause now I know
His heart was not
A forever home
_______________________________
Even in my darkest day
My heart is never lost to stay
With friend I can trust
& give all my love
__________________________
As I stand on the edge
I think of the life I’ve led
The abyss below waits for me
& for once
I do not fear it
Instead I smile & relish
The unknown path ahead
The sun shall shine
The moon will rise
I will breathe
& know I am Alive
______________________________
No one is looking
Let your hair down
Your weariness is showing
Paint your lips
With that red tip
Wear those comfortable pants
The ones that make you swish your hips
Slip on that sexy bra
No one will know
That you have it on
Do what you want
To make you feel whole
_____________________________
Life started as
A small puddle
Crawling thru water
No need for a paddle
As I entered the river of life
The shores began to widen
The bottom deepened
Passed the reach of my feet
Sometimes I struggled
Times I would drown
Sometimes I skated
Along the waves I found
______________________________
I won’t lie to you
There were others
Before I met you
There was love
Deep seated emotions
That always seemed
To rise above
But I will never say
Anyone like you
Has ever come my way
With words that are true
My heart is proof
Walking away from you
Will be the hardest thing
I will ever do
______________________________
I can be
The tiny drizzle
You feel
I can be
The puddle
You step thru & go still
I can be
The hurricane
Gaining speed in your breeze
I can be
The ocean deep
Smothering you with emotions
You never before felt to seep
_________________________________
Memories of the past
A tortured soul with a mask
Dreams for a future
With something that will last
Hope held in the hand
Seen in smiles of a friend
Dim light appears
At the end of a tunnel
There is life left
Even when the path is muddy
_______________________________
In the dark
With only soft
Subtle moonlight
A song plays
In the silence
Of a mind’s maze
It’s a slow one
Making a heart solemn
Violins & cellos sing
But only audible
To the soul
That’s awake enough
______________________________
Tangle your fingers
In my hair
When we kiss
Stop & stare
When I smile
Notice the wrinkles
From past frowns
When you hear me sigh
Don’t even dare
To ask why
& when I bite my lip
Do that again
&
Never
Fucking
Quit
________________________________
I am here
Never fear
I hold you close
Even when u don’t care
I’ll give you smiles
& hugs all the while
Even when you turn away
No that I am here to stay
When your eyes bring the rain
I’ll be the umbrella from your pain
& when you need something to lean on
I’ll be right here
Never gone
______________________________________
Hope can be intoxicating
Like when an empty heart
Begins to be filled again
___________________________________
I wasn’t looking for a fairy tale
Knights, kings, princes
Here did not prevail
I wasn’t looking for magic
A spell weaver
Built from my imagination
I wasn’t looking for perfection
Just a flawed human
Equal yet separate
I was just looking for acceptance
& there you were
With arms wide open
_________________________________
Feel my heartbeat
Against your tightened grip
See the fog in my eyes
As you lead me to my demise
Strip me down to the bone
Teasingly caressing each scar
Each lump, each curve that once was
Show me the edge
Knowing you’ll me push to beg
_____________________________________
I was busy chasing ghosts
World of worry was all I knew
You were busy living life
Dealing with all that pain & strife
Two paths one day did cross
You the Night
I the Sun
& as the two met in the middle
Twilight was when our time stood still
_______________________________________
There once was a lonely girl
Soul disjointed
Heart w/no joy
She lived in darkness
Spirit never soared
Until the sun
Set upon her shore
She learned to smile
As the blue birds flew around
She managed to laugh
Banishing the frown
Then her feet left the sand
& her ocean did expand
___________________________________
Scared of letting go
Afraid of all that was known
Frightened what the scars would show
So I covered my face hands body
& all that was below
Shielded my heart from so many
I believed I’d never know
Until the day
When the rains passed away
& I stood naked in suns rays
_________________________________
He approached me delicately
Made me laugh
Until I couldn’t breathe
He spoke of emotions that were deep
Intrigued my mind with many things
He was polite to a fault
Understood what training had wrought
Then he caressed my heart
Allowing me to forget
How I got lost
___________________________________
All choices now were gone
When he left my heart alone
Only the empty nights
Would caress what was forlorn
________________________________
It was a betrayal of my heart
This I realized too late
He had stolen my mind
& my soul he had ate
Gave all I could
Was always true to my word
Little did I know
His love was only a show
_______________________________
Sweat on my brow
My heart pumps
Heatedly beneath my skin
My eyes are closed
But I feel you within
Dancing on my soul
The tingling begins
I know you are but a ghost
But I still chase this feeling
Your breath
Your love
Let it continue to fill me
_________________________________
Night so cold
I toss & turn
Dreaming of the warmth
I felt from your soul
Constantly chasing ghosts
Is my new daily norm
It’s only when I wake
I realize that you’re gone
________________________________
No knight, no fairy tale
No rescuer here will prevail
Only a matching piece
Will complete the puzzle of life
That we see
_________________________
When I was young
I believed in fairy tale love
Now that I’m older
My heart just grows colder
__________________________
A Woman Owes It To Herself To
Be FREE
To live
To breathe
Without someone’s foot on your neck
Dictating to YOU
On how to act
____________________________
A Woman Owes It To Herself To
Feel as though
She doesn’t live in a cage
Stretch her wings
As far as she can reach
Make the necessary changes
She feels that she needs
Even if that means
She’ll scrape the bottom
Before she succeeds
________________________________
A Woman Owes It To Herself To
not rely on anyone else to
dictate her own worth
not rely on anyone else
to pay her bills or
pay her less than
what she deserves
not rely on anyone else to
educate herself
about her body
her rights
her place on this earth
______________________________
the night was dark
my heart was alone
nowhere to turn
nowhere to run
I knew they were close
I could feel their cold souls
I had to keep chasing
Those imaginary ghosts
they knew where to hide
they knew how to float
they had their disguises
but with my whip I would choke
_________________________________
so fickle was his heart
he always knew how to start
but he never did learn
it’s with only time you would earn
the right & the privilege to call her yours
or the dignity to let her go forth
__________________________________
Through this ache
There is a taste
A bitterness that lingers
Flows thru the veins
& stings
An empty hole
In the pit of a soul
A foul feeling
That knows no healing
Cracks that keep creaking
As walls crumble into a heap
A cage that has no key
But stays hollow & empty
_________________________________
Once our love was all there was
But now that it’s gone
I wouldn’t trade it for nothing
Once we were strong
The bonds & connects we’d grown
But now that it’s gone
It’s hard to break the cycle of want
Once we were everything we needed
But now all that’s left is pleading
________________________________
I smiled at the words
That once held my tongue
I laughed at the faces
That once held my gazes
I cried at the memories
That slipped thru my grasp
& blew away with the breeze
I grew with the heart breaks
That made me the sad soul I am today
_________________________________
I heard an Angel breathe
A soft whisper in the breeze
A damp weight
As I stand in the mist
She sang to me
Of the lost love she’d witnessed
Of the broken spirits she’d felt collapse
Of all the people that came & went
Her song was a silent one
But I felt it deep down in my bones
_______________________________
We all change
By time
By people
By love
By circumstance
Our hair grays
Our strength fades
We stop rushing
At some point
Stop fussing
Life doesn’t move
At the speed of light
It moves with each
Soft
Slow
Breath
& with each day
We learn to face it
____________________________________
I’m not searching anymore
I’m taking what comes
If day is filled with rain
I’ll dance in the drops
If night is solemn
I’ll smile as I cry
If dawn is refreshing
I’ll look up to the sunshine
If winter stiffens my bones
I’ll walk slower
If I love you no more
I’ll walk out of the door
______________________________________
Rice & gravy
A Southern staple!
Don’t forget the Tony’s ma sha
& the slices of smoked sausage in dat
It’s so niiiice
Fill ya belly not just once but twiiice
Maybe add a lil Tabasco sauce
To make ya mouth go hottt
That stuff will stick wit ya when times are rough
___________________________________
Your words tempt & tease
But can your body please
Drag me to the edge
To pull me back in ecstasy
Help me let go
Forget all I know
Only focus on us
Until all is but dust
& we lay in our sticky lust
____________________________________
Liars, liars
Fakes & frauds
If this were a movie
I might just applaud
But this is real life
You daft creatures don’t see
You can’t act like this
& think you won’t be
Found out by those who are true
Our truth will always cut through you
_________________________________________
You could’ve been My King
& I would’ve been Your happy Queen
We could’ve had the world for ourselves
But you were a false god
Among everyone REAL
You pretended to be
A man who was strong & sweet
But you were hiding a whole life
With kids & a wife
So I cut off your head
Now you’re dead
________________________________
I’ll give you
The benefit of doubt
Until those doubts
Begin to shout
And the truth comes out
Then
You won’t have to step aside
I’ll simply wave
As I walk on by
_________________________
My friends say
My heart is too big
I just say
It’s how I live
__________________________
We are all broken
Shards glued together
But scars never forgotten
We could stay in pieces
Bend our souls into creases
Divide our hearts into compartments
Wall up what was stolen
Lock the door
Toss away the key
OR
We could step outside
Walk to the sea
Open up wide
& let what will be
BE
______________________________________
I’m moving forward
You can walk with me
Or ignore it
But either way
I will not stay
I follow my feet
My heart sets the beat
My mind leads the way
I’ll pull on the string
And if it breaks
Then so be it
____________________________________
The thump in the vein
Anticipation
Craving
Silence of soft breaths
Blinded by the mask
Wondering
Waiting
What will happen
Will these marks fade
Soft leather
Soft skin
The sting
The thud
The release
The gasp
The sigh
Tears roll from my eyes
This is the pleasure I desired
____________________________________
You had your chance
A moment
A night
A time
For our bodies together
Could’ve danced
But fear drove you away
& I was not meant to stay
So the opportunity was lost
Somewhere in the hills
With the dense mist
Fear did not close my mind
But for you
It was the only thing
That did abide
______________________________
I always thought
My heart needed a home
Somewhere to relax
Be in my own zone
Someone to caress my fears
Take me gently
Wipe away my tears
But I now know
My heart already has a home
It was in ME all along
And I smile
As I walk alone
______________________________
Soft fingertips
Skating along my lips
Is what I miss
More than
Anything
Else
_____________________________
People come & go
This we all know
Some we wished to stay
But they went along their way
Some we never wanted to meet
But they stole our time & the ground beneath our feet
Some teach us new things
Some torture us with devilish schemes
But some are TRUE
Those we need to hold on to
________________________________
Ask me a question
& I will not lie
Need some support?
I’ll laugh with you
Or cry
Need a space to vent?
I’ll make time for it
Need someone to care?
I’ve got some love to spare
Need the truth in buckets with proof?
I’ll share what I know
Give you time to accept & grow
I am true
Are you?
______________________________________
Be true
Be real
Don’t fake how you feel
Be honest
Be kind
Don’t string souls along
Be YOU
If that you is who
You can live with
Once the sun has set
And you sleep
__________________________________
Winter has landed
On these shores of soft sand
Water is icy
Breaking against mangled debris
World is shifting
Alliances keep drifting
Into the oceans of life
Filled with broken boats of strife
Wind blows stronger now
Making space in the crowd
But I stand alone
Looking for a new home
__________________________________
Seasons change
People change
Words that once rang true
Become lies that seep through
No heart stays
The same for all time
Scars always shine
When the sun reaches you
People move on
No longer thinking of someone
Emotions do fade
When not nurtured with love
Winter comes
Summer never stays
_____________________________
Fake words
Fake feelings
Fake worry
Fake tears
Fake strength
Fake defense
Fake lies
Fake truths
Fake support
Fake alliance
Fake friendship
Fake masks
Fake walls
Fake privacy
Fake unity
Fake empathy
FAKE PEOPLE
I don’t need
Not in my life
Not in my heart
Walking away
Is the start
__________________________________
I could listen to those fake words
Believe all the lies you spew
I could believe that there’s good in you
Or try to accept the façade you use
I could take your facts for the truth
Maybe have faith in what you think you knew
I could
But I won’t
I don’t need a false you
____________________________________
I am here
Even when you do not hear me
I am here
Even when you do not see me
I am here
When the clouds come to you
I am here
When those tears cut thru you
I am here
When you are alone
I am here
When you can’t find a home
I am here
When all is lost
I am here
Even when you forgot
___________________________________
All the leaves
Fell from the trees
While I was gone
On my holiday alone
Did they fall
Because they missed me
Or did they give up
From feeling listless
______________________________
No one stays forever
No matter what they say
Lies upon lies
Their allegiances sway
Year after year
They were there with no fear
Until they find a new toy to play with
& they go away
Like a ghost n the mist
Thanks for a friendship
I thought would never end
Take care of you
Fuck you my old friend
__________________________________
What do I look for
Does it even exist
Or did it get lost
Like that sweet Scottish mist
Did I miss that lonely boat
That sailed passed with a wish
Did I lose myself
When I finally found what I missed
Are there 2nd chances
Maybe even a 3rd
Or is it just gone
Lost in the herd
_________________________________
My shoulders hurt
& my back is sore
From this heavy weight
I’ve carried for so long
This baggage weighs a ton
But I haul it alone
Never setting it down
Even though my tears
Beg through a frown
It contains all my sins
Left marks on my skin
How will I let it go
Through words don’t you know
__________________________________
These words I do write
Thru anger or spite
Written with tears that have might
Or a love I wish to create
They are but words
Behind feelings of woe
Letters arranged just so
That lets others into my world
I spew & spit them most times you know
Only when my heart
Lets me let them go
________________________________________
We are but
A collection of things
Memories & experiences
That have caused ripplings
Waves that have crashed
Into our sandy shores
Tides that move through us
For better or worse
Our past & present
Future unknown of what’s left
This is what has made us so
Mangled & broken
But we still grow
__________________________________
They call me crazy
For traveling alone
At my own pace
They call me dumb
For giving up
All that once was
They call me naïve
A bratty teenager
With ideas of how to breathe
They call me selfish
For wanting to hold
Something priceless
They call me many things
But heartless
Was not one of them
_____________________________________
I ran from myself
Too many times
So many did try to help
But I buried my love
Never willing to accept any of
Those kind compliments
Musings of trust & love
I did sweep them away
Never to receive what was
Standards too high
Walls too thick
Not only my present
But my past made this
__________________________________
Time & space
The breaths
You did take
The soft whispers
Of a damned fate
I did not care
What we would make
The heart
That never ceases to break
So many smiles
We did only fake
A hardened soul
With walls that did shake
Was this always
What our love would create?
________________________________
I must admit
Here & now
I’ll never be bold
Or stand out in a crowd
I’ll be the ghost
Always hidden in clouds
I won’t dare boast
Or even be proud
I’ll slip away from all memory
Once these words leave me
The world will never know I was here
But it will tremble with my loss
& never fear
___________________________________
As I reached
My home space
It never felt
Like such a cage
Walls built
To protect this place
Only keep me in
Never to allow me grace
I’ve stretched my legs
In a foreign pace
Now that I’m back
I only wish to leave
Again
___________________________________
You robbed me of no innocence
Just a time
When I needed guidance
You pushed all my boundaries
Only to walk away
When the walls came down crumbling
You teased my soul
With a love
Neither of us could know
Now I sit all alone
Never to open up as I once was
____________________________________
My mouth cant speak
But these words
Still do seep
From the tears on my pillow
From the sighs heard thru the willows
From the mist on the high mountains
In the clouds that I’ve encountered
Tales of woe & love lost long ago
These words do spill over
Causing a flood that wins me over
___________________________________
I should hate you
But I cant
These tears
Always seem to last
Memories keep
Flooding back
From that dark time
In both our pasts
When we just couldn’t grasp
What our hearts wanted
But never came to pass
Separated by an ocean
& details of our lives
We were 2 ships
Passing in the night
_______________________________
You tainted the time
The space
& the rhyme
You tainted the land
The foreign shore
Where I did stand
You tainted the holiday
The moments
Of solidarity
You tainted the love
The orders
That were
You tainted the breeze
The sound of bagpipes
Tears on my sleeve
You tainted me
& what I’ll never be
_____________________________
You never know
What another faces
The sadness
The madness
That invades their space
The trials
The tribulations
That cloud their days
The hardships
The tears
That seep from their face
Be gentle
Be kind
Soothe them with a smile
Speak softly
Whisper slowly
You may see what you don’t know
__________________________________
The walls are up
& firmly in place
Didn’t you know
Guarded women
Have the best taste
A mystery among
The common tongues
Multifaceted diamonds
In rubble
Where they do not belong
Their outer looks
May be plain
But inside
There’s a storm
That rages
_______________________________
Send me into outer space
Come & ride me cowboy
Until you see peace on my face
Push me into the dark abyss
Then drag me back
With a sweet kiss
Let us ride the rings
Of Saturn’s feelings
Only to succumb
To the sun’s warmth
_____________________________
Uptight & in control
Her hair always up
But never in a bow
Except for that 1 week of the year
When she escaped the madness
& went away for solemn silence
For that week
She walks slowly
Letting her hair dance
In the foreign wind that blows coldly
Healing her heart from within
_______________________________
EJReineBooks 
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